Health: Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all... - FML

By Username - 03/03/2010 16:34 - France

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

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Same thing different taste

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

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By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

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You deserved it 1 711

Fire in the hole!

By CarrieBerrie - 14/08/2020 17:01

Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML

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You deserved it 520

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

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The Gush

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

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You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

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By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

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Next

Top comments

Person1233 12

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:05

What the ****?!?

Taipan_fml 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:06

I didn't know Batman used that. Huh. Learn sumthin new every day.

Comments

swim5010 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:47

eat some prunes lol

xHabsfanx 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:57

lol

ChairForce 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:18

What exactly were you expecting? Did you expect to take a stool softener and *not* poop?

princesskitten 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:13

Um... what exactly did you THINK it was "all about"?

chikiitaaa 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:18

i bet ur stomach was hurting really bad. Ew.diarhea.

alexFYL 11

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:33

Let me get this straight. You CHOSE to use a laxative, and then it's a FML when it works as intended? *clicks YDI* Moron.

Compass 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:42

what is this i dont even

lawlren 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 5:19

I took ducolax once, because I was constipated, I read the directions, which said to take 3 tablets. I felt assured because the front said "thorough yet gentle relief". It resulted in terrible cramping, and me almost ******** my pants twice at school. I later find out my dad only takes half a tablet to clean his colon for a colonoscopy.

DeathBunny8 9

Monday 24 November 2014 16:49

Actually it says take up to three tablets. If you don't know how something will effect you then don't take the highest recommended dose.

guckylynn 19

Thursday 4 March 2010 5:43

Actually no... it doesn't cleanse the colon. I had to take it once and all it does is make it easier to go to the bathroom if you're constipated.

jobeaniee 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 6:52

hahahaha!!! duude, funnyyyyyyy!

samantha_durano 6

Thursday 4 March 2010 7:22

haha, wait what? I don't get this.

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