Health: Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all... - FML

By Username - 03/03/2010 16:34 - France

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 25 207

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Same thing different taste

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 122

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 331

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 711

Fire in the hole!

By CarrieBerrie - 14/08/2020 17:01

Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 520

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 3 579

The Gush

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 2 055

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 110

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 426

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 373

Next

Top comments

Person1233 12

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:05

What the ****?!?

Taipan_fml 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:06

I didn't know Batman used that. Huh. Learn sumthin new every day.

Comments

paul924 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 21:54

ok now what the ****?!! the very first word after today made no sense!!! soo **** u pal! go back to friggin canada

loludeserveit 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:16

u don't understand the word I?

gokumania123 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:01

noob

purplemnm 9

Friday 5 March 2010 4:20

lmfao...youre so obviously a troll it's funny

zaharaMeeka 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 21:56

this makes absolutley no sense

bradisdrums 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 22:00

ok. for all of the lovelies who think i didnt know what taking this would do.. shame on you. i was just expecting a more pleasant experience. Not for my colon to fall out of my ass. : thinks back to dumb and dumber bathroom scene : OP p.s. i agree i did deserve it.

shamille 5

Thursday 4 March 2010 7:18

should've been softer, huh?

x805xUnknown 6

Wednesday 3 March 2010 22:05

Don't people read the label before they take random drugs?

forensicsbatch 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 22:07

this belongs on MLIA just because if the Batman quote

Serec 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 22:44

who the **** mods stupid shit like this?

amberceleste 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:21

lol WTF? wow wow

captainfalcon40 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:27

fail

fxdxhk90 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:34

I'll bet you also swallow suppositories and shove things marked "analgesic" up your ass.

ndiesal 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:44

Haha, love the Batman reference. Sucks to be on the toilet all day, though...I'd suggest taking some Immodium but I have a feeling that might make thimgs worse.

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