Intimacy: Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip...

By Electro - 11/02/2016 21:51 - United States - Nashua

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 221

You deserved it 7 282

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 591

You deserved it 6 885

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 212

You deserved it 4 237

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 944

You deserved it 306

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 5 318

Hot boy summer

By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 748

You deserved it 84 095

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 7 746

By Username - 02/08/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 3 253

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 179

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 12:30 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 029

You deserved it 5 783

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 22 043

Tomato_Cheese 22

Friday 12 February 2016 10:42

Oh no... It's labeled under intimacy...

hardcorepunk87 18

Friday 12 February 2016 10:41

Stop rubbing your Wong where it don't belong

Comments

welldarnit 23

Friday 12 February 2016 22:16

you can't turn your dick into a vibrator by sticking a battery in it, that's just silly

13SucksToBeYou13 4

Friday 12 February 2016 22:45

I'm not gonna ask...

Sansational_ 18

Friday 12 February 2016 23:16

Guess you rubbed it the wang way

genshift 8

Saturday 13 February 2016 0:10

That's a weird fetish you've got there.

UltJan 11

Saturday 13 February 2016 1:14

How!?

TheRussianNavy 11

Saturday 13 February 2016 3:54

Ouch.

CaptFartGiggle 10

Saturday 13 February 2016 6:38

I bet that pain was electrifying.

graphite01 15

Saturday 13 February 2016 7:02

How? Just. How??

themassivefuckup 16

Saturday 13 February 2016 23:13

Bro, don't leave us hanging. How the hell did you manage that?

FastTurtle9 14

Sunday 14 February 2016 0:39

But... Why?

Keywords

Animals Cats Work Awkward Embarrassing Christmas Health Love Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk Kids Parents Gun control Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Food Delivery Miscellaneous Family

The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 1 053

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 966

You deserved it 4 014

The Top

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 074

You deserved it 3 718

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 618

You deserved it 3 918

Today, I learned why you should never to use Sean Connery's voice when asking your girlfriend to sit on your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 1 986

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 204

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 2 375