Kids: Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She...

By Nick - 26/01/2010 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 70

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

_RobotInDisguise 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:27

Wow. That is ****** up - so basically the mum told her daughter you were the father but didn't think to tell you she existed?

mightybrit 6

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:28

wow that's just awful. are you still in contact with the mom? if so then that's just messded up..

Comments

YoItsHannah 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:25

sucks for you.

drnwrng 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:26

shit eh

udontneedtoknow2 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:30

That is just weird...

CitizenSnipz 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:40

voted yes on this. :P

GEEwezzy21 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:05

haha ur fuqed

relyo 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:12

This reminds me of a very important point. Remember to have your FB privacy settings as high as they can go. Never know who'll find you if you don't.

daneeyoll 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:21

how bout a chastity belt those work

MissOriginal 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:39

This is why condoms were invented next time consider using one before u turn into a man ***** u dumb ****

wow18 3

Wednesday 27 January 2010 6:25

Use the word "*****" No need to add a man in front of it!

Phallus_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:41

YDI for being on facebook.

speakerinsilence 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 5:50

I have no sympathy for you. That's your own fault.

Keywords

Awkward Sleep Miscellaneous Television Love Weddings Money Annoying Transportation Relatable Snow Kids Family Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Gamers Argument Cats Animals Valentine's Day Gross Health Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 2 034

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 640

You deserved it 20 677

The Top

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 786

You deserved it 5 706

Today, I realised that if I died, no one would care. I know this because when I called my partner distressed last night, he told me he needed to sleep and hung up in less than 45 seconds, and a friend told me to call lifeline. I haven’t heard from either of them since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 205

Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 169

You deserved it 1 369

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 553

You deserved it 4 096

Today, I found out that my kids hate and are actively ignoring me; my wife is bipolar and she swears she hates me too after over 20 years of marriage, and my job sucks the life out of me every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 147

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 835

You deserved it 1 318