Health: Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently,...

By anonymous - 08/12/2014 23:23 - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 2 764

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Same thing different taste

By filipkm - 06/05/2016 14:37 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 502

You deserved it 2 803

The first step is admitting it

By The_failure - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 839

Too late

By UhOhhhh - 08/09/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 902

You deserved it 4 330

This is actual irony, Alanis

By Anonymous - 21/02/2022 04:00 - Belgium - Tamines

Today, I'm starting to have a chlorine sensitivity. I'm a swimming teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 73

By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 739

You deserved it 4 751

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 262

By Dfacta - 13/05/2010 17:51 - United States

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 301

You deserved it 3 191

Give it to me

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents took my to hospital with headache, cramps, sweats and tremors. The doctor thought I was an drug addict in withdrawal, which, after some questions, turns out I am. I gave up fizzy soda last week and am in total withdrawal from caffeine and all the other addictive chemicals in soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 15/06/2016 17:07 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 718

You deserved it 2 131

By itsplashedeverywhere - 27/10/2015 18:59 - United States - Boulder

Today, I was unfortunate enough to discover what happens when you vomit mid-drink at a water fountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 798

You deserved it 2 218

lovelyvampire 16

Tuesday 9 December 2014 11:35

I didn't even know that was actually possible.... just try and drink bottled water instead of from the tap. it'll hopefully prevent that.

901_khad 10

Tuesday 9 December 2014 11:44

If FML has taught us anything, it is that when you try bad things happen.

Comments

Llama_Face89 33

Saturday 13 December 2014 8:35

Well. Guess the only **** you that would be more obvious is a big middle finger in the clouds..

ayomaggots 8

Tuesday 16 December 2014 9:57

I got sick from drinking my tap too. I started boiling the water to kill the germs and refrigerating it. it works like that

The_Unlucky1 19

Sunday 21 February 2016 17:02

Irony.

theonecasey 27

Sunday 17 July 2016 5:48

Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

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The Top

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 391

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 191

You deserved it 3 389

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 023

You deserved it 7 570

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 4 161

Today, needing some new music, I logged on to YouTube and clicked "Like" on a few different tracks I enjoy, hoping to spark some good suggestions from the algorithm. My “Personal Mix” now consists of boring, generic techno remixes, with videos showing 100% half-naked women and fast cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 361

Today, a customer wanted corporate's number because we aren't allowed to sell pies after midnight. After a drug-fuelled cuss-storm, she punched me in the face through the open window and peeled out of drive-thru like a bat out of hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 925

You deserved it 1 947