Geek: Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war"...

By MaHalKiTa - 23/07/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 706

You deserved it 4 684

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 30 211

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 342

You deserved it 4 027

Gonna need that channel name

By alyssac11 - 25/05/2010 04:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 619

You deserved it 4 263

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 188

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 22:11 - Sweden - Lidk?ping

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 13 707

By ordinaryday - 22/05/2012 12:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 252

You deserved it 3 339

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 724

You deserved it 17 288

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 828

A7X_LoVeee 10

Saturday 23 July 2011 16:05

He's gotta stay entertained somehow

nixter5 18

Saturday 23 July 2011 16:06

Talk about dropping bombs....

Comments

d00msday 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 0:47

Kamehameha, and its over 9000 work better when pooping :)

DankyStank7 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 1:29

that's pretty EPIC! I will do that til the day I die

broomhildo 19

Sunday 24 July 2011 1:46

Ahahaha he's a keeper. If you can't handle that then you're a douchey girlfriend.

LuhDemDinosaurz 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:59

This.Is.Amazing.

LizzJizz 16

Sunday 24 July 2011 3:18

Quite thee oddball

RuCheezBurger 10

Sunday 24 July 2011 3:18

FIRE THE CANNONS!

bballforward33 10

Sunday 24 July 2011 4:17

omg that wicked friggin sweet dude. wild hogs!!!

PenguinInDress 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 4:45

I poop to "The kill" And I'm a girl Trust me, This's perfectly normal.

autoxinvr6_fml_fml 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:07

Your boyfriend is awesome.

dgenerationx 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 5:17

attracteve

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 060

You deserved it 13 424

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I flew home early from a two-month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with silk-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said, "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 170

You deserved it 3 975

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend, who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving, and I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 555

You deserved it 5 260

Today, I've come to the realization that my girlfriend's mini Australian Shepherd dictates everything, from a hug and kiss goodbye, to when we try to have sex. The worst part is she won't do anything about it. Looks like another night with the damn dog between us… FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 290

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

Today, I was at the dentist's and she was hands deep in my mouth with a drill, when the power for the whole block shuts off. For 3 hours, the dentist had to keep shooting me up with shots to numb the horrible pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 83

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 785

You deserved it 3 094

Same thing different taste

Gonna need that channel name

Goldfinger

It's a gas gas gas

Top comments

Comments