Work: Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed...

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 255

You deserved it 11 492

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 198

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 130

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

Comments

nemouisu 22

Friday 1 April 2016 14:48

That's one way to make a name for yourself

thestoryofacaleb 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

That's an extremely uncomfortable situation. Sorry OP.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Friday 1 April 2016 18:35

I agree. That's why you were in the damned bathroom. At least you didn't do it in her office.

blazerman_fml 17

Friday 1 April 2016 14:50

Could be worse...you could have been spewing unstoppable volcanic diarrhea :3

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

PackardBell_fml 19

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

Hold one in when you walk by his stall when you're done, and let it rip.

Giraafe 15

Friday 1 April 2016 14:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Magnoxidans 19

Friday 1 April 2016 14:56

Isn't a bathroom designed for dealing with biological functions? Tough reputation to shake though sorry OP

barfingcat21 18

Friday 1 April 2016 14:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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A07 48

Friday 1 April 2016 15:01

Hello and welcome to FML. Thankyou for the amazingly original comment and please enjoy your stay.

may14th 26

Friday 1 April 2016 15:19

Why? WHYYYYYYY?

zman8881 8

Friday 1 April 2016 17:40

Thanks for the originality!

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 1 April 2016 22:21

That's a pooty situation.

Steve97 32

Friday 1 April 2016 15:00

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DoomedGemini 37

Friday 1 April 2016 17:10

Yes, halt doing anything in the bathroom if someone important comes in. It's not like the bathroom is for such things or anything.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 746

You deserved it 17 915

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 347

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I agree, your life sucks 33 099

You deserved it 3 339

Today, I tried to point out to a chap in a van waiting at the lights that his tyre was flat, and that the rim had been spitting sparks all the way down the road. I was told in no uncertain terms, “Mind your own bleedin' business!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 170

Today, I’ve worked out that my neighbour is cheating. Her husband leaves at 7, another guy arrives at 9, vigorous sex noises last for an hour, then the guy leaves. It’s come to this has it, I’m so bored since losing my job that I’ve become a nosy neighbour lady. Why won’t anyone hire me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 235

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 881

You deserved it 6 482

Today, some babe finally super-liked me on Tinder, but didn't want to continue the chat after finding out I'm shorter than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 349

Same thing different taste

Bad timing

Pissed

It wasn't me

The sweet smell of success

Take a break

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