Work: Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed...

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 255

You deserved it 11 492

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 198

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 130

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

Comments

A07 48

Friday 1 April 2016 15:00

4 stalls? That's impressive OP. I'm guessing spicy mexican was on the menu at lunch?

zman8881 8

Friday 1 April 2016 15:11

That's part of what bathrooms are for... Your boss is too uptight.

PhoenixChick 26

Friday 1 April 2016 15:14

You are a human, with a functioning digestive track, in the facility designed to deal with the side effects of digestion. WTF is her problem?

ulissey_fml 22

Friday 1 April 2016 15:30

Luckily you are not a man bearing my grandpa's name , Gaston . May we call you ..Wendy ?

Calingaladha 21

Friday 1 April 2016 16:02

It's okay, OP. Own your fart. Four stalls is a pretty good distance.

videogames4life 10

Friday 1 April 2016 16:25

I'm sorry but after reading OP's name and then the article, I laughed way too hard

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Friday 1 April 2016 16:50

I beat heavy metal would be just perfect for this occasion. in the bathroom no one can hear you scream, I mean shit, shit.

latenerd 11

Friday 1 April 2016 17:57

I HATE when people feel the need to comment on what you do in the bathroom. What do they expect, that you never poop or fart? At least you went into the bathroom. Sorry, OP, your CEO is a jerk.

FitFriday 32

Friday 1 April 2016 19:22

An immature jerk

Brandi_Faith 33

Saturday 2 April 2016 4:12

Me too. They say something as if they've never farted or had explosive diarrhea before or something. It's embarrassing enough as is, let's not point it out. That why I, generally speaking, like how girls handle the situation. Girls usually ignore all that stuff. Even if someone farts while you're talking to them and it smells rancid, a girl will usually just politely ignore it; where as a male usually has to comment. It seems op's ceo is the minority here. It's just a shame that op can't magically be in the bathroom to comment the next time her ceo gets digestive issues. Maybe that would teach her to keep her mouth shut in the bathroom. What happens in the bathroom should stay in the bathroom.

brezzyanna 17

Saturday 2 April 2016 18:44

Yeah, girls will have full conversations while one or both of them is going to the bathroom. They're normal body functions, so why be embarrassed about it?

Bunnyluver 20

Friday 1 April 2016 18:31

I don't understand how people get so disgusted in place that's meant for that kind of stuff. At my school, girls like to talk in the bathroom, but talk shit about people when they are in the wrong. Grow up is what I say!