Work: Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed...

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 981

You deserved it 25 512

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 255

You deserved it 11 492

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 080

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

It wasn't me

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 198

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 130

EastCoastLez 14

Friday 1 April 2016 14:53

To be fair, bathrooms tend to echo like the depths of hell.

homesuckfucker 28

Friday 1 April 2016 14:49

It's not your fault she's uptight. After all, that's what bathrooms are for!

Comments

beef_weezle 13

Friday 1 April 2016 19:09

Wow. That's ummm...professional

fader48080 10

Friday 1 April 2016 19:57

point out that bathrooms are for bodily functions and that she should get over herself.

ChimeraThorne 19

Friday 1 April 2016 19:58

If you can't fart in the bathroom where exactly is it acceptable? Would have thought that would be the one place people CAN'T complain!

moniculkin 19

Friday 1 April 2016 22:08

Did anyone pictured "White Chicks" in their head?.......yeah? No ok.

mccrightp 29

Friday 1 April 2016 23:53

That was a bitch move on her part. What happens in the toilets stay in the toilets

capnjacksparrow 7

Saturday 2 April 2016 0:07

I dont see the problem considering that bathrooms were literally designed for farting (and other completely natural body processes)

StogieXX 11

Saturday 2 April 2016 1:38

That stinks. Bet if she got the stick out of her ass, she could compete.

Kers3054 16

Saturday 2 April 2016 3:48

"Can I help you?" You WERE in a bathroom, after all. Shame on her for thinking you weren't a normal human being.

YFOS_fml 17

Saturday 2 April 2016 7:25

so what that's what the toilet is for. maybe she's prefer you do it in the office?

shiba10 26

Saturday 2 April 2016 7:30

The last time I farted in a public bathroom another guy decided to rip a fart even louder leaving us both laughing in awkward disgust. Oh how odd life can be...