Health: Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated...

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 04:16 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 855

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Same thing different taste

Health and wellbeing

By fuck - 21/08/2015 18:22 - United States - Somerville

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 6 476

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 637

You deserved it 9 528

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 124

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 463

You deserved it 5 679

By fatteningmeup - 26/05/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 426

You deserved it 3 795

All you can eat buffet of shit

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 98

By Fatty1970 - 23/05/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 19 831

By Mimi - 16/04/2013 01:35 - United States - Vallejo

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 782

You deserved it 5 757

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 284

By tardspawn - 05/04/2015 15:38 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 4 010

xSkittle 16

Monday 2 September 2013 11:47

I really want to know how old he is

MEAT_CURTAINS 5

Monday 2 September 2013 11:49

That's what I tell myself too 'Oh no my jeans don't fit' 'Oh it's ok i just haven't had a shit today'

Comments

Beepbeep7 14

Monday 2 September 2013 23:52

Put a muzzle on him.

vffjvsegb 11

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:06

I've tried that theroy, it's a no go

yryilmaz 13

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:13

What does he do with the food usually then?

thecrazymancan 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:51

Lock him in his room with a giant hamster wheel and a little ticker that will unlock his door after he has run enough miles.

Wiz_Of_Oz 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:07

"Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! Augustus Gloop! So Big and Vile! So greedy, foul, and infantile!"

WeskersSexslave 15

Tuesday 3 September 2013 7:11

well its your fault if you age junk food during pregnancy..

baref00tmama 15

Tuesday 3 September 2013 7:46

No it isn't. What a ridiculous theory. OP, your son needs to take some nutrition classes since he clearly doesn't understand how the body takes nutrition or absorbs calories; a lot of obesity issues stem from people having NO idea how to nourish themselves.

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 3 September 2013 17:18

OP is the kid's father.

zuzupetalsYO 11

Tuesday 3 September 2013 8:32

Did you tell him that when you made him fat?

The_Khan 12

Tuesday 3 September 2013 9:14

Denial, or a fairly serious case of young kid (but that usually goes away on its own). Ask him what kind of food he eats that isn't crapped out. I'm sure once he thinks about it, he realizes that everything ingested will be (attempted to) digested.