Intimacy: Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 14:27 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 617

You deserved it 7 353

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Same thing different taste

Envy

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 271

You deserved it 13 114

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 04:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 2 638

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 604

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 2 351

By Merdoc - 03/02/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 344

You deserved it 44 750

Double betrayal

By iwannagointothewoods - 13/11/2023 23:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 131

Naughty boy

By Anonomous - 29/12/2013 00:31 - United States - Plainfield

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 047

You deserved it 4 158

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 463

You deserved it 4 677

thaliah 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:24

Kick your brother's ass and dump the girl.

famvd 15

Saturday 5 April 2014 19:25

I'm assuming the squeaking sound is coming from the bed, not the brother...

Comments

Daydreamer4466 6

Monday 7 April 2014 13:51

I know they say bros before hoes I guess your bro didn't get the letter. Kick both of there ass.

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The Top

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 101

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 207

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 938

You deserved it 3 661

Today, I was buying a specific expensive wine for my wife’s birthday, but the guy suspected I was buying it for some underage girl loitering outside, and threatened to call police. He’s a specialist wine merchant and the only guy I can buy that wine from in 100 miles. Her birthday is in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 136

Today, I heard my 7 year-old step-daughter tell her father over Zoom she cries every night, because she wants to go home with him. I don't have the heart to tell her that he had kicked her and her mom out of the house because he thought mom's stretch marks were unattractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 126

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 189

You deserved it 1 396

Move it, buddy!

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 72