Intimacy: Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 08:33 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 195

You deserved it 3 536

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 22:10 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 828

You deserved it 3 394

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 2 923

Confusing love triangle

By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 3 610

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Thank God

By Dwarvahkiin - 08/08/2022 02:00

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 3 989

By NinjaPanda88 - 01/08/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 896

You deserved it 16 893

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 845

You deserved it 378

Name thievery

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 17:01

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend used the baby name I wanted with the girlfriend he’s been dating for less than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 177

Freudian slip

By MollyMadamme - 01/02/2011 00:33

Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blowjob. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 969

You deserved it 6 371

Exodiafinder687 58

Thursday 22 January 2015 0:10

Well at least now if she ever turns you down for sex you can just deal with it by beating her ex.

wishfulthinks 19

Thursday 22 January 2015 0:11

If he was a massive dick, take is as a compliment to your endowment.

Comments

GunSlinger69 19

Thursday 22 January 2015 3:51

Just name her pussy your ex`s name.

yeti37 16

Thursday 22 January 2015 4:01

Delores...

Tannasgh 22

Thursday 22 January 2015 4:19

Seriously...your penis has a name?

13ky13 20

Thursday 22 January 2015 7:42

It's O-S-C-A-R

grajax 24

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:05

Probably cause her ex was a dick.

verysmarmy 11

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:11

Please tell my I'm not the only one who thinks giving penises pet names is weird? "Hey, why don't you come over to my place and shove Tommy into me!"

verysmarmy 11

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:15

Also, what was the Ex's name?

anabanana101 15

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:20

Aw that's so cute:/

brehhh_fml 8

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:51

yeaaa might be time to find a new gf, buddy

Gorebabee17 10

Thursday 22 January 2015 5:57

Damn.

Kaalschneid 21

Thursday 22 January 2015 6:50

...was he short?

Mooglefox 23

Thursday 22 January 2015 7:08

Does that mean she hates your penis?

mfxray 10

Thursday 22 January 2015 7:25

that's the ultimate diss.

Keywords

Toxic Family Christmas Holidays Coworkers Love AITA Miscellaneous Furniture Sex Intimacy Parents Relatable Lonely Money Health Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Painful Dentist I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 816

You deserved it 9 771

Today, I procrastinated so much on asking out the guy I like that this morning I had to wish him a happy first wedding anniversary. Yes, I procrastinated so much that he had time to date someone else, get engaged and married, and make it to the first anniversary, and I still love him. God I’m pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 741

The Top

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 328

You deserved it 43 619

Today, I don't want to go to work because I hate my boss, but once I'm there, I won't want to go home because I hate my husband. I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 484

Today, I actually pondered shaving off my eyebrows so I wouldn't have to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 289

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 496

You deserved it 32 401

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 409

You deserved it 4 110

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 813

You deserved it 7 522