Miscellaneous: Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've...

By RyanM - 10/03/2010 15:00 - France

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 898

You deserved it 27 490

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Same thing different taste

Mr Beard

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 16:59 - United States

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 317

You deserved it 14 180

It's fine, I'll walk

By assholedad - 11/02/2015 21:00 - United States

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 366

You deserved it 11 038

Shaved

By richard - 21/03/2014 16:10 - United States - Redmond

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 046

You deserved it 8 085

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 487

You deserved it 13 102

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 5 713

By pits - 05/01/2015 04:30

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 4 944

By jessel_ladd92 - 09/09/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 631

You deserved it 5 834

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 07/09/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 85

Itchy arse

By DaggerHole - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 352

You deserved it 16 669

Self report

By Wow ok - 09/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I am what the internet refers to as a "neckbeard." I really need to get my shit together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 309

RetroXI 4

Wednesday 10 March 2010 20:06

@1 who are you calling a lint licker you cootie queen!? o_0

Boddmon 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 20:12

It's also a big turn-off on girls too. Just keep that in mind.

Comments

bangbangbabe 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 4:42

ewwww! I hate beards or anyfacial hair. it's gross and unclean & when you kiss you feel like your kissing hair! yuck! yuckety yuckety yuck!!

ninjaj31 0

Friday 30 July 2010 5:15

only shaycarl can pull of a beard. sorry op. :)

lostinthelight 0

Friday 10 December 2010 8:42

I thought guys thought balls were a good thing. :/ Just maybe not on your face!

onlyin_urdreamz 5

Sunday 12 June 2011 15:11

well yur first problem to be addressed should really be why your face looks like a ballsack O.o

brittber 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:25

it does!!!!!!!!!!! retard

Steffi 26

Saturday 15 September 2012 13:38

My ex history teacher has a mostly dark, thick beard, with grey patches.

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, my son told me that some kids had been picking on him at school. When I asked him to elaborate, he said that kids sometimes didn't say "Hi" back when he greeted them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 867

You deserved it 597

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 992

You deserved it 48 864

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 790

You deserved it 2 027

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 117

Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 1 372

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 9 473