Miscellaneous: Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out...

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 762

You deserved it 2 069

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 581

You deserved it 6 347

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 799

You deserved it 6 165

By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 142

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 150

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 571

You deserved it 3 740

By immovingout - 04/05/2013 17:46 - United States - Huntington Station

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 742

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 15:46 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 597

You deserved it 2 990

By keimA - 23/06/2019 12:30

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 396

Roommates from hell, part 47757

By Sofvcked - 29/06/2022 10:00

Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 157

06dopey 8

Thursday 10 May 2012 8:44

assigned to an assassin. nice

jennawill10 10

Thursday 10 May 2012 8:47

Ever watched The Roomate? Yeah, you probably shouldn't now! :-/

Comments

monkeyhead641 6

Friday 11 May 2012 4:17

I hate that movie too

buildajay 4

Friday 11 May 2012 5:06

If she's mean it means she likes you :)

richie118 0

Friday 11 May 2012 5:30

Sounds like the sex should be good

ThatEmoVeganChic 0

Friday 11 May 2012 5:39

Kill her with kindness!

ajduscfan 4

Friday 11 May 2012 9:07

I know exactly how that is. I have a roommate like that

amamiyakari 7

Friday 11 May 2012 11:39

And may the odds be ever in your favor.

thejuice1234 0

Friday 11 May 2012 17:32

She probably planned it

NegaMe 12

Friday 11 May 2012 19:37

such "coincidences" do not happen by accident...

zayn_malik 4

Friday 11 May 2012 22:54

Maybe, she's kidding?!? Like the girl on Zoey 101?

VainZayn 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 21:28

Everything happens for a reason...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was belting out the lyrics to a song I’ve loved for years, when my friend stopped me and asked why I was singing “kiss this guy.” Confused, I looked up the lyrics and realized I’ve been singing "kiss the sky" wrong for a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 382

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 1 737

The Top

Today, I accidently sent that my butthole was on fire to a group chat with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 748

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then told me that yes, he's cheating on me, that he's dumping me, and that I'm fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 183

You deserved it 6 593

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 10 001

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 789

You deserved it 476

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 602

You deserved it 4 743

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 440

You deserved it 2 492

Same thing different taste

Pyrotechnics

Roommates from hell, part 47757

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