Animals: Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was...

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 009

You deserved it 3 650

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 02:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 209

By can't breathe - 22/11/2010 11:33 - Australia

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 450

You deserved it 3 977

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 684

You deserved it 4 726

Startled

By Achoo - 24/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 337

Smelly glasses for life

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 06:30 - United States

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 313

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 308

Poor kitty

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 8 428

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 16 May 2016 11:43

Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.

luther48 20

Monday 16 May 2016 11:40

In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."

Comments

399 41

Monday 16 May 2016 15:56

Lol, so true.

honeymoonroyale 20

Monday 16 May 2016 16:02

There's nothing wrong with kissing your own pet telling them you love them. Unless it's a fish. That's when it gets weird.

fullerkate3 17

Monday 16 May 2016 16:31

One of the many reasons I hate cats

mfmylifesrsly 29

Monday 16 May 2016 19:57

Yeah because dogs and other pets don't ever sneeze.

kingdomgirl94 29

Tuesday 17 May 2016 16:44

My rat sneezes on me all the time, but only when she's outside her cage. I think she's allergic to humans.

Anushka_fml 13

Monday 16 May 2016 16:39

I have the same issue. Though my cat uses his sneezing as a weapon. He will sit on my bed while I sleep and sneeze in my face if he gets bored.

wanted_2_want 40

Monday 16 May 2016 16:40

Your cat may be allergic to you!!

shady914 14

Monday 16 May 2016 17:08

My dog does this to me on a daily basis lol

MamaChey 24

Monday 16 May 2016 20:15

That's a new one, usually it's the human allergic to the cat, not the other way around!

ALittleFreak 15

Monday 16 May 2016 21:10

You don't need a life OP! Animals are a blessing. However they can be gross. My kitty always sleeps on my chest while I sleep and he puts his paws on my mouth, I've had litter on my lips before. God bless crazy cat ladies.

shepardkinz 19

Monday 16 May 2016 22:36

My cats have done the same thing to me. It's not a pleasant experience.

Bekll 31

Tuesday 17 May 2016 7:15

I had a cat who sneezed for all 14 years of her life and, yes, directly onto people's faces. One of my current cats sprays everywhere and has done it directly on me twice. If you have cats you have to accept these things happen. But you still love them.