Animals: Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 5 395

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Same thing different taste

By CatofSteel - 05/03/2017 22:00

Today, my cat cracked my phone screen by sneezing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 898

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 009

You deserved it 3 650

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 02:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 208

Not now, honey

By rhya4n - 15/05/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 035

You deserved it 3 372

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 4 018

By Ahhwtf - 18/08/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 732

You deserved it 9 812

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 020

You deserved it 17 426

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 251

You deserved it 3 580

By can't breathe - 22/11/2010 11:33 - Australia

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 450

You deserved it 3 977

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:00

YDI for not wearing safety goggles around your cat?

CANNIBALx 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:02

I think you liked it.

Comments

leedivinchi 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 15:59

first

leedivinchi 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:36

Ik but I've always wanted to be first and now I am! so that's it. you can almost never get first on this damn site!

muhaidib 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 17:11

aww the cute little boy is first! anyways OP that's just disgusting..

morgan320 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 17:53

i dont know whats worse. that OP's cat sneezed in OP's eye, or that OP's eyeball was open.

ninjasaurous 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 18:00

Being a wannabe is for losers! Oh sorry...

annadorkable 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:36

i've been first 3 times. its not that hard .

iliketurdles 7

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:50

You kept track of how many times? Must be some achievement.

R34luver 5

Monday 10 January 2011 6:13

haha your first and its moderated xD

xShannonxSammyx 7

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:00

Sanitize it.

Aim4thebullseye 4

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:08

Of course, use some hand sanitizer to clean it, no dont worry about the alcohol it won't hurt at all...

waswashere 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:19

why would you? it's not like alcohol burn or anything

iSitt 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:42

toxoplasmosis

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:00

YDI for not wearing safety goggles around your cat?

Sliim_Shaady 6

Saturday 8 January 2011 17:22

cats are for losers!!!

I_like_chicken 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:53

**** off, cats are amazing

skittesryummy98 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 16:05

yeah cats r the shit

SparcMac 0

Monday 10 January 2011 6:56

no. claws SCRATCH your shit

snickerz01 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 23:19

59 and 72 have the right idea

Aim4thebullseye 4

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:02

...why again is ur cat's nose in front of ur eye?

james_aka_frosty 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 13:13

MEGA LOL!!!! but yeah why was you eye near your cats arse

0_oFML 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 17:27

Ok... so cats sneeze from there bums now, I always thought it was there noses

k9obsessed 5

Monday 10 January 2011 3:47

Um...wow...You DO realize "arse" is UK slang for "ass", right? Go get yourself an education.

SoFreshAndYetDep 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 10:55

75 - Obviously, you don't understand that the context in which the word "bums" is being used is the same as "ass," ass.

CANNIBALx 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:02

I think you liked it.

waswashere 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:02

that's what you get for making out with your cat

KatieKhaos 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:12

Better than having it sneeze in your mouth, right?

FYLDeep 25

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:14

You should have seen it coming.

rgermain 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:42

lol I see what you did there!!

cer_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:34

I think we have the same cat

HoldenGrudges 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 16:54

how is this FML? are u that whiny that a cat sneeze is like omg my life sucks now? idiot

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Same thing different taste

No napping, only feeding

Not now, honey

Too stupid

Chance encounter

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