Love: Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 544

You deserved it 1 851

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bad_day_in_hell - 17/11/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 2 174

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 228

You deserved it 2 839

By cchandler - 23/09/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 337

You deserved it 8 041

Place in the world fades away

By What - 07/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 73

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 6 427

By jakeson12 - 24/11/2012 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 3 539

By Anna - 02/07/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 127

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 22:50 - Mexico - Villahermosa

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 048

You deserved it 1 962

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 21:50 - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 711

You deserved it 2 513

By Nicky_ham - 06/01/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 1 663

williamcarter93 13

Saturday 18 August 2012 4:59

Poor OP. Sorry your wife had to die so relatively early.

Larawk 8

Saturday 18 August 2012 5:01

Tweet his number. I'm sure you could get a bunch of kids to prank call him. Revenge is sweet

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 18 August 2012 5:44

I sorta know how you feel. My friends MOM died a few years ago, and barely even a week after he cane back to school, some ******** actually tried to pull this joke... Idiot "Do you know your gay?" Friend "No." Idiot "Does your mom know she's gay?" If we weren't in class at this time, the idiot would've had his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

twinny_sc 13

Saturday 18 August 2012 5:52

I don't get the joke.

PYLrulz 17

Saturday 18 August 2012 6:23

If I was a teacher, and heard that, I'd give your friend a baseball bat, then "pretend I never saw anything"

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 18 August 2012 15:00

thank you 59 42 the aforementioned idiot basically disrespected my friends mom immediately after she died.

Shadow_Blues 10

Saturday 18 August 2012 5:51

No wonder he suspected his fiancee of cheating on him, the guy's an asshole! xD And that is quite possible the worst one-liner I've ever heard stammered from a guy that backed himself into a corner like that. Damn.