Intimacy: Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person....

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 75 720

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Same thing different taste

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 905

You deserved it 257

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 769

You deserved it 5 870

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 762

You deserved it 884

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 915

You deserved it 7 073

You wanker

By dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 3 563

So frustratiiiiing

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 12:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 453

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 138

You deserved it 559

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 450

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 099

You deserved it 2 790

starflyer59 17

Monday 29 April 2013 1:24

look them in the eye and finish like a boss!

Dcm210 19

Monday 29 April 2013 1:23

You shouldn't be doing it in public anyway.

Comments

xluciferx666 21

Thursday 6 November 2014 1:44

As long as it wasn't in a public library you are fine

dreadlocmask 15

Monday 1 June 2015 17:08

Ask them for a hand next time

Sansa_fml 38

Wednesday 9 December 2015 17:35

All in one day?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 539

You deserved it 1 494

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 916

You deserved it 2 881

Today, after retyping a 22-page report for work because the orginal had gone missing, i realized I had used a different laptop the first time. I now have 2 copies of the same report, both of which are late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 470

You deserved it 2 114

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 627

You deserved it 11 649

Today, out of sheer stubbornness, my husband forced himself to go to the toilet despite severe constipation. He forced it so hard he now has a migraine and his nose won’t stop bleeding, but he won’t go see a doctor. He could have burst an artery in his brain but no, he knows better than "some doctor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 162

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 384

You deserved it 6 088