By nightjay - 11/07/2016 14:32 - United States - Cincinnati

Spicy
Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 319
You deserved it 1 554

nightjay tells us more.

nightjay 21

Hi, OP here! It was just a casual morning today, and since my mom usually waits for me to get up (because I'm usually pretty lazy out of bed), they wouldn't leave my bedside. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my extremely Catholic mom, I said no when she kept on telling me to get up. Finally, laying on my side (facing away from my mom) she boils over and pulls the covers off, and in my attempt to save my covers from falling on the floor, she sees my boner and immediately assumes I was masturbating. I don't know which was worse: getting grounded, getting the "masturbation is evil" talk, or having my mom see my dick. Triple FML. Thanks for the support! All the penis-puns make me smile :)

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Top comments

DarkLink9001 15

Do your parents understand... well.. anything?

556 2
bellydancer82 15

How DARE you have a boner! Shame on you for being a normal male! Sorry OP, that really sucks, I wonder why your parents aren't more understanding.

382 4

Comments

paigexox0 37

Im pretty sure thats like grounding someone for sweating when its hot out...

22 0
nadeemgaafar 8

No one can control the morning monster Lol

3 2
moocowmilk0 19

you totally deserve to be grounded for a human body function shame on you!

15 1
nightjay 21

Hi, OP here! It was just a casual morning today, and since my mom usually waits for me to get up (because I'm usually pretty lazy out of bed), they wouldn't leave my bedside. Not wanting to embarrass myself in front of my extremely Catholic mom, I said no when she kept on telling me to get up. Finally, laying on my side (facing away from my mom) she boils over and pulls the covers off, and in my attempt to save my covers from falling on the floor, she sees my boner and immediately assumes I was masturbating. I don't know which was worse: getting grounded, getting the "masturbation is evil" talk, or having my mom see my dick. Triple FML. Thanks for the support! All the penis-puns make me smile :)

152 4
iampuppy 16

do you sleep naked or something?

89 3
tygerarmy 35

Two questions. Did your mom never sleep in the same bed as your dad and learn about morning wood? And how is mom grounding you? You are 33 according to your profile.

169 1
mackdeezy 22

Ironic, considering the Catholic Church has a bigger **** stash than Steve Hirsch, Larry Flint and Hugh Hefner combined. And no, before this gets out of hand (like it tends to do) I am not atheist, and yes I am a Christian.

58 1
cj89898 24

So why didn't you just tell your mom that you were naked instead?

31 0
MajesticRacoon 7

Should've sat up OP. You're dick shrinks when you sit up

6 24
writerchic85 25

Why couldn't you just explain morning wood to your mom? Or have your dad do it. Honestly, I don't understand how religion excuses people from having basic knowledge about human sexuality.

76 4
ForgotAboutDre 9

it sounds like your mom doesn't know about what men call... morning wood

11 1
freddygasman 18

Op, you should have pulled the covers of and said "can't you see I already am."

34 1
DAngelle 4

Don't forget that Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini, aka Pope Pius II, wrote an erotic novella

2 0
SocialAmethyst 20

That sounds pretty ****** up to be honest.

30 1
Talented73 54

If it weren't for boners and furburgers, none of us would even be here.

27 0
sylvienoir 18

what the **** is a furburger?

22 2
everycloud 10

furburgers... hahaha, that's a brilliant name

6 1