when I was a kid my mom would remind me to quit jacking off and to watch it because I was already wearing glasses. but I never did that as a kid

Lmao don't worry, you're not alone in that one. It's happened to me all the time. Most times I don't realize up until I go to splash water in my face and I feel my glasses in the way ?

If you recently got glasses I understand. But I've had glasses for years now and it's a habit to take them off before entering the shower. If you're in the shower and things aren't blurry, you're doing it wrong.

Sometimes when I take off my glasses, I get the feeling of "ghost glasses" and end up going to push them up and end up poking my eyeballs, despite having blurry as heck vision..

I understand how you'd forget you had glasses on, up until they fogged up. How did that not tip you off?

How did you take off your shirt without noticing your glasses

I have done this at least once. But I was amazed that I could see.

Well, my case was opposite! Woke up with contact lenses on and was convinced that my short-sight problem was miraculously cured by itself, my joy knew no bounds until my mom pointed out that the contact lens case was empty :-/

WTF!? You're a dumb ass!

As a person who gets clotheslined by their headphones on a regular basis, I understand. You get so used to them being there that you can't really even feel them anymore.