Intimacy: Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of...

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 500

You deserved it 5 059

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Same thing different taste

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 801

You deserved it 5 013

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 357

TMI

By crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 4 139

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 696

You deserved it 9 445

By Bridget - 06/05/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 285

You deserved it 7 167

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 052

You deserved it 13 457

Lies and slander

By wtf - 31/07/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 988

You deserved it 3 975

Vegas…

By Anonymous - 12/05/2018 01:30

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 4 856

By angryinlaws - 12/10/2013 07:23 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 280

You deserved it 12 106

waveman56 3

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:34

on the bright side..... you had a good ******

underguarded 20

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:38

****** =win husband=fail fact that you married him= unexplainable

Comments

ajfraser 3

Tuesday 14 December 2010 8:59

yeast infection!

JosieBongs 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 1:37

Oh muh dayum

GMaxxo 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 3:20

My condolences

cokieb 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 6:06

so it totally sucks it was ur wedding night but on another note... I've had that experience and it is like one of the best!

JDBoyes07 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 6:59

Well... You still had the 'best ****** of your life'. Thats got to count for something!

Monii_Harlz 11

Friday 17 December 2010 3:34

Omg wer is this tub? jks jks ahaha that's sad, especially on your big day :

wriptidez 0

Saturday 18 December 2010 15:01

annulment fast

princejaxnfreak 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:30

too bad

mlia172 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 16:19

wow. bitching. cheating on your husband on the first night of being married. he is a lucky, lucky man.

furubafan74 18

Saturday 17 May 2014 2:05

She didn't cheat. The hot tub itself gave her the ******, not someone else.

max13_fml 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:31

haha that sucks...atleast you had something that moved on your honey moom... the water in the hut tub :)

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 82

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 229

You deserved it 2 179

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 576

You deserved it 5 610

Today, my girlfriend wanted to play a game call "bondage bingo," taking turns tying each other up in different positions, and if we can’t escape, we get to take a picture. Whoever gets the most pictures wins. After tying me to a chair, she ended up leaving me there for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 626

Today, while working as a masseur, a man requested a foot massage. This wouldn't have been an issue, had he not had at least 20 warts on his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 147

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 617

You deserved it 56 611

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 023

You deserved it 138 395

Same thing different taste

Poor performance

TMI

Lies and slander

Vegas…

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