Intimacy: Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of...

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 5 059

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Same thing different taste

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 797

You deserved it 5 013

Poor performance

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 03:00

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 357

TMI

By crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 4 139

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 695

You deserved it 9 444

By Bridget - 06/05/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 282

You deserved it 7 167

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 050

You deserved it 13 456

Lies and slander

By wtf - 31/07/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 987

You deserved it 3 972

Vegas…

By Anonymous - 12/05/2018 01:30

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 320

You deserved it 4 852

By angryinlaws - 12/10/2013 07:23 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 278

You deserved it 12 105

waveman56 3

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:34

on the bright side..... you had a good ******

underguarded 20

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:38

****** =win husband=fail fact that you married him= unexplainable

Comments

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 12 December 2010 12:33

I say that you should give your husband a chance to make it up to you.

goatmanjizz 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 14:42

this made me hard omg asl omg fap fap* in ur ear let the **** come down ur ear lobe

murphythadog 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 14:42

He's just paying it forward for all the times you will withhold sex from him in the future.

perdix 29

Sunday 12 December 2010 14:53

You might want to look into having a threesome with a bidet.

Judus_beej 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:05

win! x 1000000000000000

mylifesucksserio 15

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:04

well your husbands the one that really had anything to loose

coolcatch 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:21

What was the jacuzzi doing in the kitchen?

xAustinZx 0

Monday 13 December 2010 15:39

hahaha

califbob 3

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:39

Get out of the hottub and go make your new hubby a sandwich!!!

Mpsteve13 7

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:59

your husband can't make you ****** but he can put you in a ****** hotel suite, oh yea **** your life

hhbett53 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 16:15

Maybe she paid for the suite. Maybe it was a gift. Don't make such caveman assumptions.

Zebidee 8

Sunday 12 December 2010 17:39

OMFG! A hotel room for your wedding night?! What a bourgeois elitist decadent thing to do!!

Emrysa 1

Monday 13 December 2010 2:37

"Bourgeois, elitist, decadent." One of these things is not like the other.

NianRakluz 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 16:16

Maybe he just had to do that. He might had realised just then what he would have to go through till he dies/gets a divorce (whichever comes first) every single ******* day of his life and the realisation came too late till after the wedding and now he just had to keep on drowning his sorrows by getting drunk. FHL.