Miscellaneous: Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made...

By AlwaysAwkward - 03/03/2014 02:30 - United States - Strongsville

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 393

You deserved it 9 040

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Same thing different taste

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 519

You deserved it 2 187

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 158

Knock out

By Anonymous - 25/02/2020 14:00

Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 359

Social cues

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 18:00

Today, I got my hair cut. When I was leaving, my stylist was standing fairly close while we were talking. She reached out to smooth out my hair; I went in for a hug. She didn't want a hug. Everyone who was there just stared at me until I left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 182

You deserved it 7 769

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 152

You deserved it 4 742

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 4 023

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 443

You deserved it 3 222

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 449

You deserved it 1 917

By Krystl - 18/09/2016 16:35 - Australia

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 941

You deserved it 2 158

Marine1775 14

Monday 3 March 2014 7:59

After I read the first sentence i was thinking something else.

ComoEsJuan 24

Monday 3 March 2014 8:00

You were just saying thanks! Everyone deserves a good hug now and then.

Comments

Witchylady 17

Monday 3 March 2014 11:33

You're an idiot! Who on earth hugs their massage therapist unless you know the person really well?

Black_Knight80 13

Monday 3 March 2014 11:52

Well she probably felt a poke... it's not polite to point.

Goblin182 26

Monday 3 March 2014 13:08

We have massage therapy and aroma therapy. Now we have hug therapy.

vikky538 28

Monday 3 March 2014 13:59

after all you are a satisfied customer...

mvc3ftw 17

Monday 3 March 2014 14:06

I thought you would have learned your lesson after the fist bump at the gas station op o.o

CrimsonSmith 2

Tuesday 4 March 2014 0:04

Hey, I remember that one! Was that really the same OP or are you just one clever bastard?

mvc3ftw 17

Thursday 6 March 2014 15:23

I wish i was a clever bastard,but I just remembered that fml and made a joke I hoped wouldn't be thumbed down to hell.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 3 March 2014 14:37

Common mistake but it's a token of graditude...I bet they appreciated it

JD1147 27

Monday 3 March 2014 14:48

Hmm.. I'm not sure there are that many workplaces you can go to where after someone touching you a lot would be ended with a hug... Wouldn't that be obvious?