Miscellaneous: Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should...

By LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 11 649

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Same thing different taste

By Nucleus - 08/10/2015 13:48 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 270

You deserved it 3 472

By Phill1188 - 16/09/2018 03:30

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 4 396

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 47 236

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 162

You deserved it 8 703

By Death By Parent - 19/07/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 7 926

By Noname - 14/03/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 042

You deserved it 82 009

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 914

You deserved it 8 797

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

shrimpygymnast 9

Friday 20 January 2012 18:47

call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england

Fiskerz 0

Friday 20 January 2012 18:53

Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!

Comments

Karmasabiych 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:59

Omg that's so mean

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:02

Tell the hefer that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree!

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:05

So then, if you're supposed to be a cow, you'd definitely get your milk for free!!

budgirl4171 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:26

That was mean

tre402 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:26

That's what happens when you're friends with parents on FB... Smh

nowais 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:53

How sweet

sleepereffect 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:33

Your mom is a psycho hose bag for talking to you like that!

alex54231 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:07

you deserve it for having your mom as a friend.

tony262626 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:17

Dont make fun of kid nappings. Its a serulious matter. Dear OP Mum. You are the best... even though iv never seen you before.

tony262626 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:20

Don't make fun of kid nappings!!! Its a very serious matter. BTW Your mum rules. YTDI. [You Totally deserved it]

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Social Media Love Am I overreacting? Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

The Top

Today, I went to court to get custody of my son from my ex. I was denied because I spelled his name wrong on the court filing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 1 071

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 27 609

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 5 631

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 271

You deserved it 48 083

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 646

You deserved it 3 515

Today, they introduced us to this cheesy school email program. I was trying to be funny by making a draft and sent it to "All" and I typed, "Thanos did nothing wrong." The send button was right next to the discard email button. I sent, "Thanos did nothing wrong" to every kid and teacher at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 3 331

Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

Reset my life

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