Miscellaneous: Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should...

By LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 11 649

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Same thing different taste

By Nucleus - 08/10/2015 13:48 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 270

You deserved it 3 472

By Phill1188 - 16/09/2018 03:30

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 4 396

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 47 236

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 162

You deserved it 8 703

By Death By Parent - 19/07/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 7 926

By Noname - 14/03/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 042

You deserved it 82 009

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 914

You deserved it 8 797

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

shrimpygymnast 9

Friday 20 January 2012 18:47

call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england

Fiskerz 0

Friday 20 January 2012 18:53

Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!

Comments

spala 2

Friday 20 January 2012 22:11

Id like that comment to of I saw that on fb lol

shane_109 8

Friday 20 January 2012 22:28

Your moms funny!!

mercsl65 7

Friday 20 January 2012 22:31

take a hint. at least it wasnt a friend telling you you look horendous

Akharr01 5

Friday 20 January 2012 22:31

Say cann I getta mirror for ya hun??!!

arvale8802 1

Friday 20 January 2012 22:37

Wow! I hope that's your moms sense of humor... And not just her being really mean

hateevryone 14

Friday 20 January 2012 23:05

some mom you have.

LiquidGhost 0

Friday 20 January 2012 23:24

Forever alone...

polkadot3155 6

Friday 20 January 2012 23:26

honestly, I probably would have too.. nothing person your mom is just funny :)

jad07 0

Friday 20 January 2012 23:27

You must be a fatty patty for your mom to say something like that.

mmjluvi 1

Friday 20 January 2012 23:31

Your mom , I hope she burns in hell!!

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 635

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, a mom got pissed at me when I didn’t help her kid after it smacked its face into a table on the train. I got up and walked to a new table while she still yelled at me for 10 minutes. Not my mistake, so maybe watch your own mistakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 152

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 870

You deserved it 6 893

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 7 587

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 5 094

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 2 401

Today, my housemate's cat began meowing at 2:15am. After about 10 minutes of continuous caterwauling, it finally shut up. Almost immediately afterwards, a car with thumping bass music pulled up to idle in the street right outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 647

You deserved it 224

Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

Reset my life

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