Health: Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking...

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 15:54 - United States

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 3 727

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Dat Stanky Mouf - 16/03/2013 21:52 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 258

You deserved it 3 600

By bananayellowteeth - 03/05/2009 08:37 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 858

You deserved it 9 078

He's probably right

By Anonymous - 25/05/2019 00:01

Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 210

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 910

You deserved it 38 046

Nice theory

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 14:54 - Portugal - Alhandra

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 539

You deserved it 2 401

Yellow

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 11:01

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 93

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 121

By Amelia - 23/06/2019 00:16

Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 236

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 935

You deserved it 8 752

Teeth gang!

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 9 019

FreakinChaps 0

Friday 2 March 2012 18:54

I can't even imagine what kissing him would be like.

Redoxx_fml 22

Friday 2 March 2012 19:02

And vodka is a substitute for mouthwash

Comments

khaya 9

Friday 2 March 2012 19:41

no brushing teeth equals no sex, problem will soon solve itself.

Jannettecooks 1

Friday 2 March 2012 19:43

Yum he's super sexy! I can see why you fell for him. It's the amazing hygiene and intelligence double whammy! Not

Clarice1 9

Friday 2 March 2012 19:54

I really don't understand how you can get far enough in a relationship to be engaged without realizing that the other person is a) gross and b) stupid. Obviously this situation sucks, but I'm having trouble being sympathetic.

bfsd42 20

Friday 2 March 2012 20:51

Anytime an fml starts with my fiancé/husband, and ends with him doing something moronic, it's an automatic ydi. If op accepts him for who he is, she shouldn't be posting on fml bad mouthing him.

Awsumuzzie 12

Saturday 3 March 2012 1:13

Because people NEVER change. Especially not for the worse. If some miracle happens and someone magically changes, it's ONLY for the good. Definite ydi's. (SARCASM)

1crabbygirl 10

Saturday 3 March 2012 14:02

I can back up the validity of your reasoning by pointing out the low divorce rate in this country.

flapdoodle 2

Friday 2 March 2012 19:59

Doesn't brush teeth + smoker = deal breaker! Why would you marry this man??!

lostfaithinpppl 19

Friday 2 March 2012 20:03

Absolutely this ^^^ No sympathy for you, OP.

annagilbert 6

Friday 2 March 2012 20:07

o.O what do you mean its not a substitute for brushing teeth?....

BunBunBabe 8

Friday 2 March 2012 20:09

Nasty

Nighthawk143420 8

Friday 2 March 2012 20:16

I would never kiss my boyfriend if he did that. Just be blunt about it.

immaMonsta 8

Friday 2 March 2012 20:17

Well that's disgusting...

OfficeNinja 5

Friday 2 March 2012 20:18

Claim that kicks to the nuts are a good substitute for sex. Problem solved.

JayJaysGirl 0

Friday 2 March 2012 20:24

He's probably going to think that a rubber band around his wee-wee is a substitute for a condom..

perdix 29

Friday 2 March 2012 20:20

You need to make him use Dual-Action Topol -- it cleans smokers' teeth, plus it plays Tevye in the movie version of "Fiddler On The Roof!" How it does both I don't know!

DocBastard 38

Friday 2 March 2012 22:36

That's a bit obscure, Perdix. On one hand, I bet there are only a handful of people who got this. On the other hand, most are thinking "Who the hell is Tevye?" On the other hand...there are no other hands!

perdix 29

Friday 2 March 2012 23:34

Thanks, but for the few that got it, I'll bet they enjoyed it a lot. After plowing through the interminable "that sucks", "you deserve better" and "I'll be your friend" comments, I'd think this was an unexpected surprise. It's no shanda getting thumbed down, but it's no great honor, either!