Love: Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like....

By dexter - 15/01/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 676

You deserved it 4 977

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 18:02 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 216

You deserved it 2 756

By Noname - 23/01/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 18 370

Misunderstood

By Lonely - 24/07/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 584

You deserved it 9 469

Unforgettable

By bex - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 032

You deserved it 2 304

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 749

You deserved it 4 549

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

By Anonymous - 25/11/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bexleyheath

Today, a friend told me he thought I was hot and we ended up having lunch together. I like him and we’ve already arranged a second date, but when I mentioned this to someone else, she got pretty upset. Turns out she liked me and had been dropping hints for a while. No clue what’ll happen to my friendship with her… FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 151

Alexa, play "Let Down" by Radiohead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Central Islip

Today, the guy I've been crushing on at work finally asked me out to lunch. I was nervous we wouldn't have anything to talk about. He spent the entire hour talking about how amazing his new girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 1 400

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 70

Well, this is awkward

By Samantha - 29/03/2009 03:14 - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 205

You deserved it 21 873

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 162

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:42

geez make your ******* mind up

Doesuff 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:36

You still have the other guy to go after. Just stop liking EVERYONE!

Comments

marigoldcobain 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 6:55

What the ****? You like two people at once? That isn't how it works...

DevoutOccamist 12

Friday 17 June 2022 22:53

call me maybe

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Keywords

Work Break-ups Love Relatable I need your advice Awkward Engagement Coworkers School Parenting Kids Parents Birthday Food Messy Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Dance Embarrassing Weddings Texting Poopoo peepee Health Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Lonely

The Top

Today, my crush, who’s notorious for only dating skinny girls, walked out of the break room. I turned to my friend and joked, “I may not be skinny, but I can suck a jawbreaker through a boba straw!” Turns out he came back because he forgot his phone. He most definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 1 859

Today, I learned my most recent ex-girlfriend is dating my previous ex-girlfriend who also broke my heart back then. I also learned that they both sometimes have threesomes with a man. I wanted to experiment by adding another woman when I was with each of them, but they always said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 495

The Top

Today, I found out that my ex, who fought me tooth and nail for shared custody, doesn’t actually spend time with our daughter during the days he has her, he just takes her to work with him and pawns her off on his secretary, who looks after her all day in a separate office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 139

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 583

You deserved it 4 589

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 378

You deserved it 3 937

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 017

You deserved it 5 025

Today, having forgotten my knife at home, I nervously took a bite of my cheesy brat at work. It didn’t splatter on my clothes like I worried it would, but it did splatter all over my desk, keyboard, computer screen, and paperwork. I can't get the cheese out from under the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 898

You deserved it 2 347

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 8 997