Work: Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication"... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 03:59 - United States - Breaux Bridge

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 6 019

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By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 118

By Miss_Kat - 29/08/2019 00:01

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 21:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 5 568

The luck of the draw

By bl3ur0z3 - 30/09/2019 00:01

Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 402

By crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 3 709

By Username - 28/02/2011 16:26

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 5 410

Nitpicking

By Anonymous - 01/06/2023 21:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 125

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 75 255

By ksa - 04/08/2015 19:06 - Poland - Katowice

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 3 039

Leech

By upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

AirBusDriver 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:26

Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!

BI4ze 17

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:22

I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.

Comments

squarecircles 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 21:22

"Acts like an asshole but is a darn good worker"

ethanbrinkman 11

Thursday 12 February 2015 21:35

How inquisitive. But who knows? Maybe you do act like one.

Freda92 12

Thursday 12 February 2015 22:06

Do you get to fill his performance review? You'd know what to put under "written communication". ;)

theRonin 18

Friday 13 February 2015 2:21

Lmao! I would take that as a compliment!

DaRito 25

Friday 13 February 2015 3:18

Well, maybe OP is an asshole. People don't just get called that for no reason out of the blue.

HWICUNow 10

Friday 13 February 2015 4:26

Ass long ass you don't look like one, I guess.

tehdarkness 21

Friday 13 February 2015 4:47

I'm sure a lot Of people have been in you position, but instead of getting the straight simple truth it's sugar coated. It would say something like: individual struggles with authority and possesses a hostile verbal demeanor.

fabcade 14

Friday 13 February 2015 5:20

actually what your boss did was unprofessional and should be reported to HR

melooters 11

Friday 13 February 2015 11:04

I actually died laughing

Joshawott 21

Saturday 14 February 2015 11:28

Stop acting like an asshole then.

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Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 225

You deserved it 75 610

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 109

You deserved it 2 790

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 326

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 134