Work: Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?"...

By crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 3 709

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 75 255

The truth

By vmml97 - 17/08/2009 21:16 - Canada

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 910

You deserved it 25 365

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 11:00 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 122

Bosses gonna boss

By Anonymous - 15/12/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, my supervisor’s first words when looking at my work were, “What is this shit?!” I explained that I'd done it exactly like she told me to. She just kept on grumbling because she couldn’t find a single thing I had done wrong, which apparently ruined her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 03:59 - United States - Breaux Bridge

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 6 018

Make your mind up

By Jason Brazil - 13/08/2019 14:00

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 887

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 13:23 - Canada

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 3 757

By Anonymous - 30/04/2016 01:09 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 022

You deserved it 2 479

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 05:51 - United States - Waco

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 1 664

By gt - 23/09/2010 00:52 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 35 785

jim_witness 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:57

You can retort: "I find you unmotivating and unskilled as a manager. You have no people skills and require a stronger mouthwash. A good manager can facilitate anyone. You are a poopy-head."

diskincluded 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 13:35

Apparently you were wrong, he can't give you constructive criticism.

Comments

jessjessjess_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 21:50

Sue!

thatonekid2010 0

Monday 8 March 2010 8:26

you should use that advice to your advantage.

apfunction 0

Monday 26 April 2010 8:33

for what? my god, people try to sue over ANYTHING these days.

runtothehills 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 17:45

well, at least we are suing and not smoking weed.

tomtm7 0

Monday 7 February 2011 6:14

#21, its called multitasking

kasumirock 13

Sunday 24 July 2011 23:32

you can't sue your boss because YOU have a shitty work performance.

ashleylucky16 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:36

#28...you are clearly boss...WINNING!

Adam_B 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 11:40

That's the point at which you offer to eave if you're such a problem. Of course, being that it's so sudden, maybe 3 months' severance with ful benefits? I think when someone says something like that, he's trying o get you to quit because lots of places, it's real hard to fire someone. Good compromise is mutual resignaton with benefits.

22cute 17

Sunday 20 November 2011 11:37

That rarely happens in the US. The benefits & severance pay.

jim_witness 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:57

You can retort: "I find you unmotivating and unskilled as a manager. You have no people skills and require a stronger mouthwash. A good manager can facilitate anyone. You are a poopy-head."

tbeaun 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 8:45

Does this guy sugar-coat everything??

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 6:30

What a softie.

diskincluded 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 13:35

Apparently you were wrong, he can't give you constructive criticism.

raidos 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:10

I can only hope to be like him one day

ashleylucky16 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:39

Agreed. Well if he at some point in his life went trans-gender that is.

prettygirlsonly 0

Monday 4 May 2009 20:13

#8 So, you hope you can be a complete ignorant... thts not the way to treat human beings and its not, obviously, the way to motivate your employees. About the FML: WHT A JERK!