Work: Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication"... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 03:59 - United States - Breaux Bridge

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 6 019

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Most likely

By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 118

By Miss_Kat - 29/08/2019 00:01

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 21:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 5 568

The luck of the draw

By bl3ur0z3 - 30/09/2019 00:01

Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 402

By crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 3 709

By Username - 28/02/2011 16:26

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 5 410

Nitpicking

By Anonymous - 01/06/2023 21:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 125

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 75 255

By ksa - 04/08/2015 19:06 - Poland - Katowice

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 318

You deserved it 3 039

Leech

By upyours - 22/05/2020 17:00 - Australia

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

AirBusDriver 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:26

Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!

BI4ze 17

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:22

I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.

Comments

BI4ze 17

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:22

I like your boss. Sounds like a terribly cruel and funny person. I like that.

mellajella 14

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:37

Or maybe OP isn't a good worker? Maybe OP should shape up.

Retaheki 27

Thursday 12 February 2015 20:30

No, the boss was being literal, OP makes great fart sounds.

wct1188 15

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:22

Truth hurts.

Mixed_steel 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:22

I think your boss is just a tad lacking in oral communications, and proved it with that comment!

chrishaaansen 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:57

or maybe he has a sense of humor

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 13 February 2015 0:03

Written communications you mean. The boss wrote the comment, not said it necessarily.

musoboy 22

Friday 13 February 2015 23:19

Or maybe OP actually does act like an arsehole.

devildog562 33

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:23

At least he didn't say you taste like an asshole, that would be awkward.

brandoneyez1 25

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:24

Your boss doesn't appear to understand the category right. The asshole is clearly your boss.

nickaa827 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 19:41

don't know why people disliked this

brandoneyez1 25

Thursday 12 February 2015 22:49

I don't either. The boss was an asshole that was the point. Usually if you dislike it's cause you disagree.. So are they trying to tell me they think OP is an asshole.. Or maybe I'm the asshole.?

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Friday 13 February 2015 5:59

Don't ever try to figure out why something was downvoted, there is no answer. The FML community is as fickle as they come. Every comment left is at their mercy.

danceinconverse 25

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:24

That's pretty unprofessional of your boss, and I don't know you but you may want to work on your own behaviour if he wrote down something that harsh...

gearhead369 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:25

Sounds like your boss has that in common with you then! I can't believe how unprofessional some bosses are

AirBusDriver 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:26

Apparently he feels you are cut out for Management within your organization. Congrats!

J483 12

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:26

Well, do you?

Attacksloth 33

Thursday 12 February 2015 18:20

I was about to ask the exact same thing...

Adrian_Robber 6

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:27

Well he acts like a dic*

SystemofaBlink41 27

Thursday 12 February 2015 18:08

*Bic. I hate people who act like pencils/pens, too!

Smooth_Criminal 24

Thursday 12 February 2015 23:59

what is the point of censoring the last letter?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 355

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, my home health aide doused me with what she considered to be Holy Water. It was bottled water. Turns out she was having a meltdown. It's a freezing day in New York City. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 95

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 170

You deserved it 79 271

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 704

You deserved it 11 816

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 829

You deserved it 2 285

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 761

You deserved it 2 454

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 909

You deserved it 6 037