Today, I had on a dress and while crouching down to grab a book,...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Crabbypanties - 11/05/2017 10:36 - United States - Portland

Today, I had on a dress and while crouching down to grab a book, my teacher stepped on my dress, ripping a hole in it to showcase my spongebob thing that I was dared to wear. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 45

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Top comments

Druu 53

Sunday 14 May 2017 5:11

Is this the Krusty Krab?

mikkigrlxx 13

Sunday 4 June 2017 2:58

No this is Patrick

Comments

Druu 53

Sunday 14 May 2017 5:11

Is this the Krusty Krab?

mikkigrlxx 13

Sunday 4 June 2017 2:58

No this is Patrick

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Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 822

You deserved it 42 617

Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 241

The Top

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 640

You deserved it 4 116

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 1 940

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 337

You deserved it 18 160

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 162

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 205

Today, my son actually tried to get out of being arrested by claiming he was “an agent” and unless they let him go, his employers “from the government” would come looking for him and there would be “consequences”. The officers eventually got their breath back from laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 192