Intimacy: Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means:...

By ICantBelieveThis - 06/03/2010 14:31 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 8 942

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mylifesucks - 31/01/2014 23:50 - France - Paris

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 340

You deserved it 12 687

By parental failure - 03/03/2013 17:03 - Canada - Langley

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 065

You deserved it 7 526

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 114

You deserved it 14 010

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 131

You deserved it 3 368

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 3 517

By newlydumped - 21/09/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 649

You deserved it 64 500

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 217

You deserved it 26 155

By WasZumTeufel? - 01/01/2013 00:55 - Germany - Kabel

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 555

You deserved it 3 925

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 338

You deserved it 7 932

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 23 959

maph3rs 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 20:00

Jonas bros. how old is she. You sure she is legal age??

dphilipson12 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 19:59

you ******* a 7 year old?! dump her ass man!

Comments

JayyAmazingg 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 3:30

Lmao, weirdddd xD

siamese1127 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 3:45

ok. she is obviously too young to be having sex to begin with, and you may be as well.

benen 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 3:46

she was either kidding or she's crazy or this is fake

Maht_fml 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:18

dump her

paigekaress 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:20

wowww what if she read this?

trackrunner00008 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:26

tear the posters up and buy her a new bed set for her bday. or have sex at your house from now on

reeree1234 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:37

dude preschool is not where you pick up chicks at

bezach 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:40

singin s.o.s

mrnipples7311 13

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:41

there are pregnant 14 yearolds at some schools

justjacky 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 4:49

Jonas <3

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 166

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 10 418

The Top

Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said: "You don't want those, they are for men." I asked what the difference was? He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered: "Men have a penis!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 491

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 337

You deserved it 8 174

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 634

You deserved it 3 061

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC Fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year-old girl in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 759

You deserved it 6 030

Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 256

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 433

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments