Health: Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied... - FML

By burntloyalty - 26/03/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 3 224

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Same thing different taste

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 672

You deserved it 376

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 196

You deserved it 3 954

By WarMachine68 - 06/06/2015 19:19 - United States - Shawnee

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 2 112

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 148

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 510

Coming and going

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 795

You deserved it 3 392

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 3 125

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 136

By westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 332

You deserved it 3 618

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 0:16

[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]

Xxak907xX 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:02

That just ******* sucks

Comments

Apparently 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:11

So, you have a purple cough.

jenn143c 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:14

you changed it!! congrats!!!

KMilliron 2

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:15

Happened to me in a crowded movie theater. Had to leave. Then my asshole brother told me how the movie ended.

goza27 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:20

Did you punch it?

541MedfazWcM 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:26

that suks :(

burntloyalty 4

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:26

Thankfully I didn't spew much and there were no customers at the time... just totally didn't think I could cough the violently

keese9413 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 1:24

lol sorry dude, maybe try holding in your coughs next timee(:

aardvarkish 15

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:28

Wow! That just gave me an idea for a new fetish!

keese9413 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:31

dude that's frickin gross...

relyo 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:41

Next time you feel the need to cough, go to the bathroom. Problem solved. Well, except for the whole "coughing so hard you puke" issue but that's better left to a doctor.

teamholcombe 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 0:07

Too much Charlie Sheen.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 43 421

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You deserved it 167

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist's, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw that I chose fair, she mumbled, "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 594

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday, hinting that he could have anything sexual, and he asked me to… take the kids and visit my mother over the weekend, so he could have 48 hours totally alone, naked, drinking beer, and playing his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

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