Health: Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied... - FML

By burntloyalty - 26/03/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 3 224

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Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 672

You deserved it 376

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 196

You deserved it 3 954

By WarMachine68 - 06/06/2015 19:19 - United States - Shawnee

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 2 112

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 148

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 510

Coming and going

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 795

You deserved it 3 392

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 390

You deserved it 3 125

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 136

By westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 332

You deserved it 3 618

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 0:16

[Generic pissed off speech/rant entailing my life story and the fact that above comments have nothing to do with #1 making me just another pissed off emo kid.]

Xxak907xX 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:02

That just ******* sucks

Comments

momma_jess20 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 8:31

i did that one time while i was outside on my back porch, threw up the fries i had just eaten. went inside to get hot water to wash it off and caught my dog licking it up...

puhffft 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 8:59

Shut up and man up. I've been coughing that hard for the past 2 weeks and have been working 12-hour shifts every day. Quit whining and take some robitussin/dayquil and carry cough drops.

jamnglamgirlie 17

Sunday 27 March 2011 9:08

That happens to me sometimes when I'm sick. I've never actually thrown up but sometimes when I'm sick I cough so violently that I start to gag.

icatchrugs 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 10:00

YDI for having a sales job

waycool 10

Sunday 27 March 2011 10:03

get the guts to spill the beans ;)

batgirl_babygirl 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 14:36

lol your stomach was just trying to help lol

MrSpanky1193 12

Sunday 27 March 2011 17:09

You should try and swtich to flitered cigarettes. I haven't had nearly as many vomit-inducing coughing fits since I switched! Hope this helps. ;D

MyApocalypse 1

Sunday 27 March 2011 21:49

FYL, That has to suck. xD

TiNyBuBbLeZ 0

Monday 28 March 2011 4:49

its called vomiting dumbass

Jaxon26 0

Monday 28 March 2011 5:43

Your life is SOO ******.....

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Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

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You deserved it 295

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 332

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 379

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I agree, your life sucks 41 682

You deserved it 3 284

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I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 22 129

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I agree, your life sucks 4 414

You deserved it 304

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 963

You deserved it 5 524

Today, I overheard my wife and teenage daughter arguing. My wife was complaining that our daughter is unappreciative. "You should thank me for giving you life," she said. My daughter snapped, "I thank God for that, not you." My wife sighed and said, "He didn't have to sleep with your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 232