Work: Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one...

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 034

You deserved it 5 432

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 4 432

By whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 079

You deserved it 3 297

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 673

You deserved it 32 130

Make it stop

By Levi2411 - 31/12/2018 04:00

Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 330

By 1D-107 - 31/07/2012 17:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 564

You deserved it 2 479

By TraumatizedMother - 02/10/2011 07:27 - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 854

You deserved it 10 321

Sneaky

By Isoldael - 07/11/2011 09:38 - Netherlands

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 086

You deserved it 5 107

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 369

You deserved it 9 816

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 802

You deserved it 11 748

Demon child

By never again! - 22/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 126

xlord 27

Friday 13 September 2013 12:57

So you are dealing with a real life version of Chucky?

JoeyJaws68 18

Friday 13 September 2013 12:58

How long were things going well? 10 minutes?

Comments

ifavela89 13

Friday 13 September 2013 21:52

yikes hope they are paying you good

jayellef 3

Friday 13 September 2013 22:00

Call the parents and have them come home stat! If not send them to their room for the remainder of the night, cause those kids be crazy.

Jiplo 18

Friday 13 September 2013 22:03

There is a reason why Call of Duty is rated M...

TogeBara 12

Friday 13 September 2013 22:55

this comment is baseless and oozes stupidity

CookieLovesBoo 16

Saturday 14 September 2013 7:23

Playing a cooking game doesn't help me become a chef . Playing a racing game doesn't help me become a race car driver . So how would call of duty make me a killer -

TogeBara 12

Tuesday 24 September 2013 19:23

"The pencil MADE me write as well as Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, and the other greats. I just couldn't control myself." Sounds stupid eh? Games do not make one violent.

blackonblight 32

Friday 13 September 2013 22:28

I... Sweet merciful Eris, how do you... Is that... I was going to say horror movie or sitcom, but no, neither quite makes sense. Ye gods, I would have been considering my options. "Ok, so, do I call the cops, the exorcist, animal control, Chinese take out" Also my ass would be on that roof too. That kid's NANNERS.

dvl2035 10

Friday 13 September 2013 23:06

Reminds me of Calvin & Hobbes

Obey_StudBoii 23

Friday 13 September 2013 23:29

You should intervened before any of this happened and so and so decided to go on the roof. YDI.

caitlinbblack 14

Saturday 14 September 2013 0:09

Why was this not caught before they started doing it?

Jezzikah 11

Saturday 14 September 2013 0:45

Maybe this fml was posted by the girl who had sex with her bf while babysitting. Because obviously if all this happened you weren't doing a very good job of watching them.

Jezzikah 11

Saturday 14 September 2013 0:48

Sorry didn't realize 68 beat me to saying this

joopjoop 19

Saturday 14 September 2013 2:28

and the parents didn't pay you either right? I wouldn't pay you and would definitely fire you and tell all my friends not to hire you if you were supposed to be watching my kids and they were handling a knife or fire starting devices or climbing the roof. wtf were you doing the whole time?

love_me_electric 20

Saturday 14 September 2013 7:30

You mean you would actually want to admit to all your friends that your child is chasing people with knifeguns and setting fire to things? If anything, I'd be more ashamed to be the parent than the babysitter.