Work: Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents.... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 01:03 - United States - La Grande

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 3 426

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 23:51 - Canada

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 385

You deserved it 2 833

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 21:16 - United States

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 645

You deserved it 3 579

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 123

You deserved it 2 592

By Ouch - 14/11/2018 05:00

Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 327

Anger issues much?

By justhatelife - 09/12/2016 14:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 335

You deserved it 1 330

By breakfast tea - 07/04/2012 19:30 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 717

You deserved it 28 597

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 969

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 05:37 - United States

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 2 624

By Anonymous - 19/01/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 824

You deserved it 52 611

Next

Top comments

viper0hr 7

Friday 19 July 2013 8:11

Should have taped it.

mackdeezy 22

Friday 19 July 2013 8:12

Well hey, maybe they were fighting for the last applesauce and prune juice lunch tray.

Comments

annie_nk 22

Friday 19 July 2013 8:13

Were they arguing over who has cuter grand kids?

Pstraka6 20

Friday 19 July 2013 8:16

What could they possibly agree about? "Debbie's food is warmer than mine!"

dramaelf 37

Friday 19 July 2013 8:16

Whoever broke out the walker wins. Those things hurt like a bitch on impact.

cottoncandymango 17

Friday 19 July 2013 8:16

What? You don't think elderly people can't fist fight anymore? They were probably fighting over who really won that arm wrestling match!

dramaelf 37

Friday 19 July 2013 8:19

They don't call them the Greatest Generation for nothing, those people were badass in their day.

strokesie 23

Friday 19 July 2013 8:18

Go granny, go!

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 19 July 2013 8:21

"On the red corner Marrrrryyyy Smith. On the blue corner, Maggie Jensonnnn! FIGHT!" "Maggie making the first move. Charging towards Mary......Oh yes she's getting there......almost there....any minute now" *Moments later* "Yep, any day now. She's still 'charging'. Makin her move...they..,they feel asleep."

Morgiepoooh9822 17

Friday 19 July 2013 8:27

I want to know what they were fighting about!

nightbirdblue 27

Friday 19 July 2013 14:08

Old Lady A had arrived late to bingo to find Old Lady B sitting in her lucky chair. Old Lady A promptly demanded Old Lady B to move. Old Lady B refused. Old Lady A threw Old Lady B's lucky troll doll. Old Lady B was outraged and starting attacking Old Lady A with her cane. (Or perhaps I've just worked one to many nights at a bingo hall filled with crazy old ladies.)

that_band_nerd 22

Friday 19 July 2013 8:28

Well Meredith shouldn't have taken Granny Gertrude's dental glue! Granny G ain't play man!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 19 July 2013 20:27

Granny G. I have this picture of some tatooed grandmother saying "Yo Yo, what up dawg" and flashing gang signs

morganrules123 10

Friday 19 July 2013 8:30

I don't know. Blanche got a couple of good hits in.

SleeplessBeauty 12

Friday 19 July 2013 8:31

Instead of taking out their earrings, did they take out their teeth? "hold this sonny!"

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Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 5 969

Today, after establishing that we have no idea what's wrong with me, only that it's chronic pain, my doctor informed me that even though I've been dealing with increasingly worse symptoms for years, I'm not a "good applicant" for pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 143

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 909

You deserved it 3 878

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 960

You deserved it 26 079

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 1 757

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was a bill from my parents. Apparently, the rent is due on the 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 976

You deserved it 3 262