Birthday: Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad... - FML

By Alex - 07/03/2012 00:34 - United States

Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 2 107

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 14:19 - United States - Abington

Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 175

You deserved it 1 465

Deception

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 23:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 72

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 18:40 - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 696

You deserved it 5 543

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 1 157

By leenibeani4 - 08/03/2010 03:12 - United States

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 180

You deserved it 2 475

By Ange - 15/01/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 5 104

By I-love-my-tea - 09/06/2015 22:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 117

You deserved it 2 010

By VedaLynn - 03/12/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 033

You deserved it 2 689

By keenan - 19/09/2010 23:55 - United States

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 027

You deserved it 5 191

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 785

You deserved it 1 910

Next

Top comments

omarzrgz 3

Wednesday 7 March 2012 8:11

Happy birthday :)

linkinpark98 23

Wednesday 7 March 2012 8:10

Some dad....

Comments

LolUnlucky 12

Wednesday 7 March 2012 8:34

Get him back and pretend you don't know when his birthday is

BeccaHugs 17

Wednesday 7 March 2012 8:51

Maybe OP doesn't have her drivers license yet.

lrgenesis 19

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:01

Wow I'm so sorry:/

Jjjessee 1

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:06

He is pulling your leg. It's a birthday game he is playing with you. Get with it. Ha ha good one! I'm gonna try it on my kids.

DrMime 10

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:08

One does not just simply acquire lé driving license. One must enter the DMV and do battle with Shinnaquaqualaffa, the gate keeper who is always filing her nails, then you must pass through the paper work dungeon and slay Greg, from accounting.

leilaostara 1

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:15

Happy birthday :D

HaniahAhmad 0

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:22

err... Well that's some dad... but, Happy Burthday!! :D

ScarletBloom 14

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:48

Dad has other children outside. Too many to remember.

perdix 29

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:49

My guess is that he's not your real father, and your birthday is a reminder of how your mom cuckolded him. What's more certain is that you're getting no gift from the rat bastard!

Sumo69 9

Wednesday 7 March 2012 9:51

Your dad just ******* with you seriously he remembers the day you came into this world and changed his life

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The Top

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 149

You deserved it 39 590

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 703

The Top

Today, I found out the time I'd requested off for a trip in 2 months, that my boss said that I could go on, wasn't fully processed, just in case he decided I couldn't go. He told me the second part after I'd bought no refund tickets for shows for both me and my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 160

Today, I was fired. Why? Because I called in sick on my daughter's birthday, even though you cannot "abandon work for personal affairs". My boss's favorite employee got to skip work on his wife's birthday two weeks ago. He still works here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 263

You deserved it 6 936

Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 117

Today, I was happily playing Diablo IV when all of a sudden it was 4 p.m. and time to go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 857

Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by far this allergy season? I only get the urge to sneeze when I have food in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 601

You deserved it 1 781

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 728

You deserved it 2 063