Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to... - FML

By oxjessiiox - 11/10/2009 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 29 819

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 437

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 513

You deserved it 2 912

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 739

You deserved it 93 545

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 128

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 753

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

Theater kid

By juliet - 06/04/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 247

You deserved it 6 302

By superman_not - 10/06/2009 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of Superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 868

You deserved it 7 361

Inappropriate Billy Joel

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 794

You deserved it 5 177

Next

Top comments

Sweny 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Fyl,shit happens :P

YDIxLol 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Ouch, that sucks... But it's a little funny. :)

Comments

Catheec 4

Sunday 29 November 2009 8:14

Next time don't agree to be in the play unless they give you a C section. ;)

Acribus 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 4:20

Best fml ever.

Princess_Julzer 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 1:45

this made me laugh out loud, a lot! Brilliant.

oxjessiiox 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 9:04

Thanks guys ;) I'm the one who submitted this, I made an account afterwards jjust to reply to all of your comments. Yes, it was embarressing, thats why its on FML. I never though my most embarressing moment of all time could get so many "LOLS" and "LMFAO" Makes me feel like a celebrity to know all you awsome FML'ers are reading my FML and getting good laughs out of it :') Jess (aka Poop) x x x

tb15 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 22:42

sometimes the mods put a badge next to the OP's comment. Either they forgot any you are the OP. If so thanks for replying to your FML. or you're not the OP which is wierd

Spooky_Variety 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:08

To be fair... that does make it horribly realistic.

MusicLover1o1_fml 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 4:08

That made me almost crap my pants from laughing!! I guess I'm just lucky.

pink_mess 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 10:56

hahahaha by any chance was the play Mary giving birth to baby Jesús lmao haha FYL

catchkylie 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 2:07

lmfao. Shit happens. Literally. xD

KRYPTON1T3 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 7:00

rofl!

hottyinabag12345 0

Monday 9 May 2011 4:13

was it really necessary to shit yourself

7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 42 709

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 509

Today, I was bored and horny. I figured, what the hell, and downloaded an adult visual novel. Five hours later, I was heartbroken and couldn't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 371

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 380

You deserved it 6 948

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all three campuses of the state college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 273

You deserved it 2 778

Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 161

You deserved it 874

Today, I bought a fancy automatic ball launcher for my dog. When I demonstrated it, my dog watched the ball fly through the air, then charged at the launcher instead, thinking it was the toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 119