Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to... - FML

By oxjessiiox - 11/10/2009 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 29 819

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 437

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 513

You deserved it 2 912

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 739

You deserved it 93 545

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 128

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 753

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

Theater kid

By juliet - 06/04/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 247

You deserved it 6 302

By superman_not - 10/06/2009 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of Superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 868

You deserved it 7 361

Inappropriate Billy Joel

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 794

You deserved it 5 177

Next

Top comments

Sweny 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Fyl,shit happens :P

YDIxLol 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Ouch, that sucks... But it's a little funny. :)

Comments

Ninjaface 0

Monday 12 October 2009 8:32

I told you you should have gotten that abortion. Now all the other parents are going to think you're a horrible mother for not wanting to kiss your kid. Not to mention how redundant changing his diaper will be.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Monday 12 October 2009 9:10

Hmm... I'm trying to imagine how an abortion would play out in this situation. Not very clean, I'd think. I'm picturing a poo-covered clothes hanger, unfortunately. D: Not that I'm under the impression that any abortion is clean.

AKBIGCAL 0

Monday 12 October 2009 10:06

Hey doc! Look! She's prairie doggin! Haha

22jrdn55 15

Monday 12 October 2009 12:28

hahahaha its too realistic well, i feel srry for your pretend doctor and nurse.

AshleyBThaMilf 0

Monday 12 October 2009 17:30

I'm so confused...everyone seems to be jumping to defend this person because women in LABOR shit themselves sometimes...she wasn't in labor! This was a play... ******** yourself while pretending to give birth is NOT justified. Seriously...wtf?

mcdonna 3

Monday 12 October 2009 18:02

learn to spell labour dumbass

ekralc_ssly 0

Monday 12 October 2009 18:44

labour - canadian labor - american it all depends on where the person is from.

Ladypartslegit 0

Monday 12 October 2009 18:34

fyl seriously. but I had a good laugh at this thanks!

ekralc_ssly 0

Monday 12 October 2009 18:43

I call fake. That, or you take your acting way too seriously - no one in their right mind would actually lose control of their bowels on stage from purposely "pushing". I realize that having an actual baby could result in bowel movement, but she was clearly (as she stated) acting. That is just embarrassing. Funny, but embarrassing. And fake.

noshitsherlock 0

Monday 12 October 2009 18:57

WOW DUMBASS. YOU TOTALLY deserve it!!!! HAHAHHAHAH. You could've just contorted your face and grunted loudly and screamed... WHY would you actually "PUSH!!!!!!!"!?!?! haahahhaha idiot

sadiesykes 0

Monday 12 October 2009 19:41

WHAT.

mannix_fml 0

Monday 12 October 2009 20:11

I really hope this isn't fake, because this is the greatest FML I have ever read.

brainstewdgeek 0

Monday 12 October 2009 20:46

Best FML ever.

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You deserved it 76

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You deserved it 88 507

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I agree, your life sucks 68 896

You deserved it 2 922

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I agree, your life sucks 12 266

You deserved it 2 917

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I agree, your life sucks 28 766

You deserved it 3 587

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I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 120

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 828

You deserved it 4 915