Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to... - FML

By oxjessiiox - 11/10/2009 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 29 819

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 437

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 513

You deserved it 2 912

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 739

You deserved it 93 545

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 128

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 753

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

Theater kid

By juliet - 06/04/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 247

You deserved it 6 302

By superman_not - 10/06/2009 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of Superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 868

You deserved it 7 361

Inappropriate Billy Joel

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 794

You deserved it 5 177

Next

Top comments

Sweny 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Fyl,shit happens :P

YDIxLol 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Ouch, that sucks... But it's a little funny. :)

Comments

meyanna 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 1:34

That's ridonk.

julieb123 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 2:10

Seeing as most women do shit during childbirth, I guess you really did make it as real as possible, eh?

ItsNotAndrew11 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 3:58

That is epic XD

pppqqq 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 3:58

i actually laughed out loud, havent done that ina while. good shit

guilliano 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 4:40

lmfao i bet you were "pooped" after that one. badda bing! (btw this was so funny, i made an account just to comment on this lmao)

kelpie_fml 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 4:42

a little too realistic, eh? I guess a lot of people here dont know how common it is to accidently push out shit while trying to push out a baby. what else do you expect? giving birth isnt easy.

Sterlobrooother 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 4:56

That is the funniest shit i have ever heard HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i would never show my face again

TFAuthor 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 5:22

XD NICE! As an actress I can not see why the hell you shit yourself on stage but as a caring person I hope the audience didn't shit themselves laughing! FYL

dELiA14 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 5:34

what the ****. what play would demand a woman to pretend to give birth onstage? answer: no play FAKE:P

Endymion_fml 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 20:01

Are you retarded or just an incredibly ham-fisted troll? ANYTHING can be written into a play, moron.

LadyV 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 6:05

Oh my God. I laughed so hard. I hope this isn't fake, because this shit is too funny.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 535

The Top

Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 2 466

Today, I'm a very stoic, loner lady, with I'll admit some anger issues, and I’m starting to realise why it was a mistake to go out with a girl who’s chirpy, happy, optimistic all the damn time. It’s like I’m Rosa Diaz and I’m dating Amy Santiago, and she’s driving me insane with her happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 911

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 260

Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 152

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with someone else, all because we haven’t had sex in a long time. He says, “Jerking off is too much work” and “I signed up to marry a human with a sex drive, not an emotionless robot.” He left out the fact that I’m grieving my mother’s death. Thanks for the support, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 363

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 721