Kids: Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler...

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 07:44 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 304

You deserved it 4 609

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 707

You deserved it 4 021

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 366

You deserved it 2 784

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 392

You deserved it 2 754

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 809

You deserved it 1 671

By MonieIndmiddle - 13/11/2017 05:00

Today, my kids caught a virus from school. My husband stayed home with them since I make more money and he didn't want to risk me getting sick. Guess which adult has the runs and is puking every five seconds. Nope, not him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 113

You deserved it 340

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 747

You deserved it 5 409

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 908

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 178

You deserved it 2 777

By alephnull - 02/02/2011 21:07 - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 3 134

Alleged_Cranium 7

Monday 18 February 2013 12:07

How did OP end up with theses kids? Expired condoms?

spaboolly 26

Monday 18 February 2013 12:04

I am assuming these are your children... so why the hell would you let their FATHER dictate a "policy" that could potentially poison them? You need to assert yourself more, especially on matters of safety, for your children's sake if not your own.

Comments

Neongreenme 8

Monday 18 February 2013 17:30

you need to find your inner Asshole! Tell your husband he is a Dumbass. Throw the expired crap away and move on.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 18 February 2013 17:42

Tell your husband "Avoiding cleaning up after puking and diarrheal kids is for *******" as you force him to clean up and disinfect the puke and fecal ejecta of your kids.

wildmonkey 16

Monday 18 February 2013 17:58

Why don't you just make him eat some of that stuff. Maybe he'll change his opinion.

10showgirl 16

Monday 18 February 2013 19:23

Your husband is stupid. Put eye drops in his food.

shouldwork 3

Monday 18 February 2013 19:26

Yep use common sense If it smells like stink it probably shouldn't be eaten The dates on the package are usually best before, and even when they are listed as expiry they're usually set too early in order to promote sales And again things that are rancid and moldy smell rancid and moldy

misspennycakes 7

Monday 18 February 2013 21:03

As a mother myself this makes me very upset for your poor children. That is child abuse. Would he have eaten the out of date food him self OP?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 18 February 2013 21:17

He probably would have and it probably wouldn't have made him sick. His mistake is not understanding that kids react differently to rancid food than adults do. Their bodies haven't developed the digestive tolerance. The same stuff happens to people in the US who eat food/drink water overseas where the level of cleanliness is not the same.