Work: Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet...

By aziraphaleelle - 18/03/2014 08:10 - United States - San Jose

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 155

You deserved it 4 360

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 144

By Bathroom Problems - 02/01/2010 19:24 - France

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 3 938

Afraid of the dark

By Katie - 12/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I went to the restroom at work, but I forgot the press on the button/timer because the lights were already on, then the lights turned off while I was in the stall. I had to finish my business and exit the pitch-black restroom while trying not to bump into anything or anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 198

HELP!

By Anonymous - 23/01/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got trapped in the disabled toilet. When no one responded to knocking and shouting, I pulled the red cord. It still took a member of staff over half an hour to respond because he’d never heard that alarm before, and had to ring his manager to ask what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 17/06/2014 02:45 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 827

You deserved it 47 776

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 1 710

By Sack - 10/11/2011 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 437

You deserved it 6 073

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 832

You deserved it 2 961

Freaked out

By anomynous - 05/04/2021 05:00

Today, my workplace replaced all of the toilets in the store with automatic toilets. I have an anxiety disorder, and I can't use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 2 784

nyancait 18

Tuesday 18 March 2014 11:31

I have the funniest mental image right now.

Drag0nb0rn 22

Tuesday 18 March 2014 11:32

They don't believe you because everyone knows that girls don't poop

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 18 March 2014 19:48

Those are great things to conserve energy but the biggest pain ever

Scotticus117 11

Tuesday 18 March 2014 20:19

I'm sorry but this fml is just funny. Fyl indeed. But even you can't deny it is a little funny. Imagining sitting there doing that sounds funny

GRubi 17

Tuesday 18 March 2014 22:50

I kind of want to ask if you're black, but I'm afraid that most people will just assume I'm racist and not get the TV show reference.

DarthIronbat 5

Tuesday 18 March 2014 23:31

Then why don't you report it?

rybaby23 8

Tuesday 18 March 2014 23:49

Someone doesn't like to play games while taking a shit!

Agtthepw 21

Wednesday 19 March 2014 0:59

How come no one noticed? Are you the only woman?

Messeract 4

Wednesday 19 March 2014 3:16

Lol does management think you're lying about this problem?

Messeract 4

Wednesday 19 March 2014 3:18

Lol does management think you're lying about this problem?

TcheQ 12

Wednesday 19 March 2014 3:37

Dafuq you need the lights on while sitting down -.-

Nesticon 2

Wednesday 19 March 2014 6:01

Why do you need the lights to stay on? If you're sitting on the toilet, everything will go where it needs to. It's actually a pretty autonomous procedure.

blackonblight 32

Thursday 20 March 2014 6:00

Well, women have other reasons we may need to use the toilet, that require being able to see. Not to mention it may be difficult enough for some people to use a public restroom to begin with, add in a lack of sight and you only increase anxiety.