I hope you're getting correctly treated for the UTI. Drink lots of fluids including cranberry juice if you can. If you can afford it, take a one-time pill for the yeast infection, a single dose antiviral for the herpes, and have you been eating chocolate by any chance? Chocolate contains arganine, an amino acid which feeds the herpesvirus. It can be partially counteracted by taking lysine supplements, and in fact anyone with herpes should probably take daily supplements since arganine is found in a lot of foods. But chocolate is one of the worst, and even megadoses of lysine can't fully counteract it.

Whoo hop! Not pregnant!

I'm sorry. You must really be feeling as if your body hates you right now. Please remember that this will eventually pass and the teeter-totter of life will eventually go back up again.

You should get tested for aids just for fun and see what the results are

Your genitals sound like something out of a horror story

Haha herpes

I'm sorry to hear you are having a time of things. Hope they can sort you out on the kidney infection. As for FML, I hope it wasn't a mistake to share this because people on the internet tend to be immature dicks and some of them are already coming out of the woodwork. Keep your chin up and I hope you feel better soon.

Well hey, you could’ve gotten all that and a baby

Go get a colonic to really fill out the whole set.

at least your period came, not an unexpected pregnancy!