Intimacy: Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone...

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 7 614

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 923

You deserved it 48 797

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 158

You deserved it 5 507

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 635

Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 273

You deserved it 12 751

Get it on, bang a gong

By DrySpellcaster - 07/10/2020 16:57

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 240

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 491

You deserved it 305

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I haven’t had sex in so long, I don’t remember what it's like. My girlfriend of six years brushes it off every time. The urges make me want to cheat but I won’t. I just want to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 983

You deserved it 6 334

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 722

You deserved it 18 489

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 416

You deserved it 6 034

tpike1296 11

Sunday 22 August 2010 13:28

with a name like "beiberfever" you arent!

fourzerofour 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 23:25

I haven't ever had sex in 19 years. Shut up.

Comments

WTSchool 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 2:07

So?

KweenAnnsReveng 15

Thursday 14 March 2013 8:17

What?

KKomori 13

Tuesday 3 March 2015 19:45

Same bro

AnonThoughts 23

Wednesday 19 September 2018 14:32

Same.

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The Top

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 578

You deserved it 3 053

The Top

Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 175

Today, after coming back from work, I panicked as I noticed that my rabbit was having a hard time breathing. So I went straight to the vet. I paid 40€ for him to tell me that he had hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 87

Today, out of pure boredom, I created a Twitter account. Looking for pages to follow, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend is actually someone's husband. A month ago he posted a picture of himself and "The love of his life", wishing her a happy 30th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 170

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 791

You deserved it 6 289

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 997

You deserved it 830

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 148

You deserved it 47 307