Miscellaneous: Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in,...

By Anonymous - 01/09/2015 04:37 - New Zealand - Albany

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 700

You deserved it 3 696

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/10/2012 17:03 - Estonia

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 8 672

Boiling point

By sharky - 05/10/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 104

You deserved it 2 042

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 4 522

By Nicoleanne - 20/11/2016 14:08

Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 487

You deserved it 13 293

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

That's something at least

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 01:00 - Pakistan

Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 169

Open invitation

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 187

Get out, now

By Hélène - 01/05/2021 10:58

Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 109

By sevenshotmovie - 21/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Sheffield

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 537

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 74

Redoxx_fml 22

Tuesday 1 September 2015 14:34

Is he Zoidberg?

nickob96 25

Tuesday 1 September 2015 14:32

Well then...that escalated quickly

Comments

Lars93 18

Wednesday 2 September 2015 23:11

"my boyfriends chocolate supply" it's her chocolate, I guarantee it

drrobotnik1 18

Thursday 3 September 2015 0:14

"today I was a doormat and was surprised when someone took advantage of me being a punching bag" YDI. let people walk all over you and that's what they'll do.

tinggo 5

Thursday 3 September 2015 0:24

Although I do not want to assume anything just inviting a aquatint over and your couch being broken could not please your boyfriend

TheCrazier 3

Thursday 3 September 2015 1:35

oh God not the chocolate supply!!!

AvivS 12

Thursday 3 September 2015 4:34

I think you found the most literal man alive

ibeth89 1

Thursday 3 September 2015 6:15

Why doesn't anyone find it weird that this girl invited a GUY over for "tea" while her boyfriend was away? It sounds to me like things got very steamy with those two.

JubileeBee 31

Thursday 3 September 2015 20:14

because we're not children

TallMist 32

Thursday 3 September 2015 20:18

I hate people that think that, just because a woman has a boyfriend (or girlfriend) or just because a guy has a girlfriend (or boyfriend), they can't have other friends of the sex they're attracted to.