Miscellaneous: Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter...

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 303

You deserved it 2 589

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Same thing different taste

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 572

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 529

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 916

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 707

You deserved it 2 203

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 2 601

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 501

By dontpeeonmenxtime - 29/12/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 014

You deserved it 3 045

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 986

MELKOZAR 27

Monday 25 May 2015 0:11

Somebody has been eating too much asshole.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 25 May 2015 0:09

Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.

Comments

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 25 May 2015 3:16

If its that bad, it could be a sign of periodontal disease. Which if caught early the. treatment is painless if caught too late can. cause excruciating and expenive complicationsn ie tooth loss, gum grafts etc. Also it doesnt smell like regular bad breath, it smells like rotting flesh and is no joke.

jew_lala 11

Saturday 30 May 2015 16:56

Sometimes it smells like trash and crap!

MrConcise 34

Monday 25 May 2015 3:20

At first I read this as though the husband was secretly eating your kid's shit. I am really relieved.

Hyenayena 27

Monday 25 May 2015 17:43

How... How do you .... Yknow what? I'm better off not knowing how you came to have that thought.

Jashie 18

Monday 25 May 2015 4:21

It could be that when you close your mouth for long periods of time, your breath starts to smell. Maybe he needs to brush in the morning or have a breath mint

worldclassrager 39

Monday 25 May 2015 4:44

Does he not brush his teeth before going to bed?

DerpAngel 8

Monday 25 May 2015 4:55

You gotta let him know about this before someone gets hurt???

Tannasgh 22

Monday 25 May 2015 6:18

Man needs to see a dentist

earthlyscum 19

Monday 25 May 2015 6:31

NOTHING is worse than a bad breath kiss...makes me want to gag

MandieL 27

Monday 25 May 2015 8:23

When my husband has bad breath and then tries to whisper to me. That's way worse for me. Unless it's like a sexy kiss, then eewww.

noonenoeone 22

Monday 25 May 2015 14:50

You've never had nasty morning breath sex with someone? If your partner was able to overlook your morning breath because they wanted you so badly that wouldn't make you feel attractive? I bet you let your period ruin your good time too? Orgasms reduce cramping and can shorten the length of your period considerably. Life's too short to be a prude.