Animals: Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread...

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 555

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 16:41 - Belgium

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 719

You deserved it 15 299

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 524

You deserved it 49 961

By fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 9 462

Tippi Hedren strikes back

By B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 026

You deserved it 4 948

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 858

By nomorepetbird - 06/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 3 871

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 536

You deserved it 19 901

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 201

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 791

You deserved it 49 897

Everyone's a critic

By rc2981 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Perth

Today, artwork that I had been working on for months was destroyed, leaving me almost in tears. The culprit? A lonely pigeon who'd got into the room and shat all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 508

You deserved it 5 171

spartans916 1

Monday 16 May 2011 0:00

poor guy. it's not ur fault tho :(

anakaren_831 1

Monday 16 May 2011 0:02

poor pigeon. **** the pigeon's life.

Comments

PROBLEMS99 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 5:21

CPR

Harmonyx 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 3:25

Aww, poor pigeon. At least you care instead of just ignoring it though? /:

cheeseywesle 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:11

You murderer the poor thing didn't deserve to die you should be ashamed

aperfectxdeath 3

Wednesday 1 February 2012 5:34

Who cares. It's just a disease infested, flying, ******** rat. It's called pest control.

needsagf14 12

Sunday 19 May 2013 1:03

I think the legal term is pigeonslaughter

Epiccake 15

Monday 14 July 2014 19:34

___________ /DONT FEED THE BIRDS-/ ---------------

rebamoo 14

Sunday 5 July 2015 2:00

Ducks and other birds should never be fed bread. They won't always choke, but they will almost always die :(

angie24w 15

Saturday 12 May 2018 3:31

you do know Pigeons can't eat bread without choking right....

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 398

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

The Top

Today, after I found out my uncle took me off my grandma's funeral program, I had to fight to speak. He spent the week taking out his jealousy and anger on me and my sister for being included in her funeral. To everyone else he's played the saint, and the whole family has no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 106

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 165

Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which point I learned that he was an attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 390

You deserved it 8 537

Today, I was working the drive-thru. Everything was going fine until I handed a customer her order and said, "Happy Holidays". Before she drove off, she yelled, "it's Merry Christmas, bitch" and threw her coffee at the window. I'm Jewish and was trying to be polite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 175

You deserved it 958

Today, it's day 5 of being out of my mind with a fever. I actually uttered the words, "Spit is a lubricant, not a frictioncant or gripperorator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 220

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 204

Same thing different taste

Tippi Hedren strikes back

Tasty

Everyone's a critic

Top comments

Comments