Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy...

By Anonymous - 23/03/2014 04:05 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 378

You deserved it 5 122

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Same thing different taste

By mala_19 - 12/06/2017 14:00 - Sweden

Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 261

By aquagoddess - 03/07/2018 19:00

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 751

You deserved it 276

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 118

You deserved it 6 009

Trick it is, then

By Tricked - 01/11/2023 09:00

Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 81

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 92

By CandyMachine - 16/02/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 9 840

Cheap and gross

By ilovemypup - 31/10/2016 11:20

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 925

You deserved it 779

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 635

You deserved it 46 239

By hannaslifesucks - 24/06/2012 18:41 - Norway - Kleppe

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent trainwreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she'd spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 722

You deserved it 1 824

Selecta blues

By Not my day - 28/11/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 172

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 23 March 2014 13:35

Candy Crush!

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 23 March 2014 13:32

They've got their priorities straight.

Comments

Capitan 15

Sunday 23 March 2014 15:03

They see the positivity before negativity :)

iKJH 7

Sunday 23 March 2014 15:12

They were just making the machine lighter for you.

kayteakay 26

Sunday 23 March 2014 16:18

Assholes! I hope they get cavities.

CurlyQute 17

Sunday 23 March 2014 16:36

How did you get under it? Were you shaking the machine and it fell on top of you?

insomniac8400 13

Sunday 23 March 2014 17:21

If it makes you feel any better, I'd grab some free candy, but then id help you.

ahsanmasood 4

Sunday 23 March 2014 17:30

oh god! was it you??? i hope not...if it was...i hope you are feeling better!

miranda19234 6

Sunday 23 March 2014 18:55

Just one question…why were you under there and what was your intentions

SirTimtastic 6

Sunday 23 March 2014 19:18

That's really surprising since you're in Canada

tayymeds 23

Sunday 23 March 2014 19:21

I no longer wish to live on this planet

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 23 March 2014 19:44

No longer? At what point did you realize that people do crazy shit? Since the beginning of civilization ?

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 23 March 2014 21:58

I hear mars is accepting immigrants...

breakinlegs 19

Sunday 23 March 2014 19:29

How did the guy get stuck under it? Shouldn't have been shaking the vending machine!

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 194

The Top

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 3 645

Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 268

Today, my 4-year-old brother has a very strict 8:30 PM bedtime. Since I would have to walk past his door to get to the rest of the house, I'm not allowed to leave my room past that time, lest I tempt him to get up too. I can't even go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 574

You deserved it 1 668

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 4 410

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 917

You deserved it 6 564

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 045

You deserved it 49 390