Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella,...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 054

You deserved it 61 217

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Same thing different taste

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 766

You deserved it 62 528

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 29 707

By fmyarse - 22/07/2012 22:45 - United Kingdom - Blairgowrie

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 596

You deserved it 48 922

By jamisbetter - 11/04/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 18 963

Sounds… lovely?

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 422

By diorlove - 21/01/2010 22:17 - France

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 559

You deserved it 4 933

By novaguy - 24/02/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 773

You deserved it 2 548

By Leigha - 02/01/2012 02:14 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 50 173

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 615

You deserved it 3 636

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 490

Readoll 13

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:50

Absolutely stupid... YDI

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:54

Much sharper than OP, I'm guessing.

Comments

Vybz_fml 8

Sunday 9 March 2014 8:40

Why would you deep-throat a knife in the first place? Anyways, YDI.

cristiansousa 4

Tuesday 11 March 2014 2:21

use a spoon...

Maaska 16

Wednesday 12 March 2014 22:49

I disagree

alfred_winklewof 8

Friday 23 January 2015 14:20

(-_-)

yikesman 4

Tuesday 24 March 2015 5:20

well. someones stupid.

keyofdestiny13 24

Monday 4 May 2015 6:42

YDI. Nutella isn't even that good. It's disgusting

TallMist 32

Monday 4 May 2015 15:29

It's definitely overrated.

DrCheese 16

Monday 4 May 2015 15:40

Dumbass

Dynamite73 25

Tuesday 19 May 2015 4:15

Of course they're American

TallMist 32

Wednesday 20 May 2015 7:13

And there are no non-Americans that love food that much?

emilylolo 3

Sunday 31 May 2015 23:16

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer... Hah!

Angelica124 13

Monday 14 September 2015 3:29

Ugh my throat just hurt reading this...WHY?!?!

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The Top

Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 446

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 340

You deserved it 35 603

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 2 304

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I agree, your life sucks 31 623

You deserved it 3 125

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I agree, your life sucks 13 319

You deserved it 82 076

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I agree, your life sucks 32 137

You deserved it 14 026

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 371

You deserved it 2 326

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 575

You deserved it 2 898

Same thing different taste

Sounds… lovely?

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