I think the real question is why the in the world someone would use a steak knife..

I've noticed society and everyone in it is getting progressively more and more idiotic.. So the steak knife probably made sense at the time.

Only Chuck Norris can use a steak knife instead of floss. Don't try to imitate the almighty Chuck Norris.

*sigh*

WTF!? Do you have a semi-automatic in your closet to kill spiders?

*facepalms* and the idiot to common sense ratio tips over yet again.

Semi? Are you kidding? These are spiders we are talking about...you need fully automatic weapons or maybe even grenades.

^^^ Has Aragog hiding is his closet

That's a hell of a better idea than what I usually do. I prefer to use a razor blade, it helps to get between your teeth and serves as a good scraper. My dentist says that when your gums bleed when you floss, it's completely normal.

Perhaps he had used the steak knife to part his hair, and the "don't use steak knife on your body" part of his brain was excised.

Why would you even DO that?

Pfft I use a table saw to get popcorn kernels

70 - "Do you want to know how I got these scars..?"

If you don't have floss or a toothpick ... use your nail. But please make sure to wash your hands first.

Floss is always a good idea. Or even a tooth brush

#70 I love the trilogy.

Haha dude ur awesome xD

Best first comment ever. Exactly what I was gonna say.

If you can floss your teeth with your penis, missing teeth are going to be the least of your problems in finding and keeping women. Then again, you may be completely self-sufficient ;)

So you floss your teeth with your penis? Good to know ..

I'm pretty sure it's fairly normal to floss with a penis. Reminds me when I was 15 and went to the White House to meet President Clinton. He gave me an autographed picture of himself in exchange for a hand-job and a V-8 in the Oval Office. I sold the picture last week for $89,000 and have since moved to Chilie to start my own brothel under the alias "Mr. Fonzworth." If you're ever in Santiago look me up.

What does this FML have to do with the guy's dick? Either you commented on the the wrong FML or you're just the most sex-crazed creep on this website.

if you can floss your teeth with your dick, it must be tiny

Why the **** did this get voted down? I find it amusing.

115 - Many lesser minded souls cannot comprehend the greater level of intelligence that Boners' preaches and thus tend to thumb down his comments in a fit of jealousy and rage. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to be enlightened by Boners' wisdom - such as you and I - can only hope to one day achieve in our lifetimes a fraction of what Boners' achieves daily. Let us rejoice in his greatness!

I constantly lay awake at night wondering "What would Boners do?"

36-I've been an aspiring male prostitute for years(they call me dirk hardwood) and I was wondering if a distinguished"Mac daddy" such as yourself has any tips for a man ho like me.

You would need a needledick if you wanted to floss with it.

using a Dick is smarter than using a steak knife, it's that simple.

This,

#2 I'm fairly certain that lesbian don't love boners.

More like the ER.

I wonder how DocBastard will react to this one once they roll into his ER...

Don't worry about it OP I had the same issue trying to remove a hangnail with a chainsaw

69- win ;)

Someone's off to the emergency room.

151- Someone's already said that :P

That kinda made my mouth hurt thinking about it...

I guess common sense isn't so common.

And you actually had to try it to realize it wasn't a good idea?

You should have commented with "...." instead

81, You should have commented with " " instead

I always use a steak knife as floss. I just never cut myself because I do it properly and carefully.

"Did I tell you the story of how I got this scars?!.."

Why...why...WHY...why would you use such horrible grammar?

Why not do this?

Listen to Red Forman!

It makes you seem like quite the hypocrite when you read your profile pic.

Looking at your profile I feel as if you are an Asian with down syndrome. "Well said Jeffry!" -Jeffry

He ate popcorn...

Your picture is relevant to both that comment and fml.

Are you ******* kidding me

That's not me ^

I'm seeing double! Time to lay off the Jack and his buddy, Jim.

Slightly slower clap

Super fast clap

Ultra mega slow clap

I'm not even clapping...I'm just standing back watching all you people clap at different speeds and laughing at you